The quickest way to seperate Arrogance from Confidence is the arrogant one never utters the words "I don't know". They have an answer for everything.

In dealing with a new person, or crticizing the work of others, just criticizing is arrogance. Asking what ideas can we come up with to overcome the problemn is confidence.

Bob

>>Try this on for size: Confidant people figure they're one of the capable people in the room. Arrogant people each figure he or she is the only capable person in the room.
>>
bob I think you nailed it there, or
"I'm confident" "you're arrogant" :)

One more observation: a confident person may very well be sure of something (an idea, etc.) that is not his own; but very confident that it is right, best, etc. (Such is my confidence in the Bible as the Word of God.)

An arrogant person, on the other hand, will always have unreasoned confidence in his own work, ideas, etc. without regard to evidence to the contrary. (I decline to provide an example. But if I did, John Murtha would be in it.)

I would add that confidence has the effect of instilling confidence in others, the sort of effect one experiences when someone looks you in the eye and says sincerely "I believe I can do it / we can achieve it / it will work." Confidence can be wrong, but it never, on its own, smells of dismissiveness. The latter quality is, I think, the "tell" of arrogance and ties right back to the idea that arrogance does not listen to criticism, whereas confidence knows it absolutely can and must.

I like Bob's definition and think it holds in many cases.

In the other cases, I believe that confidence and arrogance are the exact same trait -- the difference is others' perception of the person. If people like you, you're confident. If people disklike you, you're arrogant. That's why some people are simultaneously tagged with both labels.

Confident people inspire and encourage others to be confident, do well, help them understand. Arrogant people smother that confidence, try to make other look small and irritate them as well. A lot of it is "tone-of-voice" and perception.

Peyton Manning = Confident
Terrel Owens = Arrogant

Confident people are not afraid. Arrogant people are afraid, and are trying to hide it by "putting on a front". Confident people do not find it necessary to get loud or overbearing, or to put others down.

Confident people inspire and encourage others to be confident, do well, help them understand.

What utter drivel. Confidence is *NOT* a "Dr. Phil" trait. Confidence is not mentoring, business management or any other buzz-thing of the day.

Confidence is knowing you can do something well enough to accomplish the goal required.

That is all.

Sheesh.

Over the years, I've seen a lot of these people who think they're the "smartest guys in the room" when they're clearly arrogant. I know of one technology company where that attitude ultimately became a major causative factor in a $250M (yes, Million!) investment failure.

I've seen another variation of this issue where, because of people's poor listening skills, regional accents were considered "arrogant" ("nooJurzee" and "newYawkers"), "ignorant" (southerners) and "sophisticated" (southern California, Bay Area or Colorado Springs). (Yeah, I was born in Jersey City, right behind the Statue of Liberty's rear end, so I've experienced this situation more than a few times when I "tawked" and someone thought I was "arrogant".)

In recent conversations about other staff, I was advised my confidence has often been misinterpreted as arrogance. Even more interesting was the specific behavior patterns identified:

- I speak in the big meetings. I am not afraid to speak up in meetings that include senior management, and have even made recommendations that were... contradictory to the prevailing management philosophies. I have trouble with the “don’t speak unless spoken to� concept.
- My vocabulary has depth.
- I try not to wallow in the mud of office politics. Its not that I am above the people nor situations, I just choose to work with everyone equally and try to stay out of the fray. Maybe it is my experience that taught me not every situation deserves an emotional reaction.
- My experience includes many different environments and cultures. OK, so I switch jobs a lot. I have noticed that many IT organizations face the same types of issues. And I have seen/experienced many different approaches to resolving those issues - many more successful then others. And so having been down “this path before�, I often know where it ends. But for those who only “grew up� in that organization, they may not like my recommendations.

Sorry to say, Sunnyboy's response smacks of arrogance.

"Confidence is knowing you can do something well enough to accomplish the goal required." That is true, but where does arrogance fit in? That definition doesn't go far enough.

How about:

CONFIDENCE is knowing you (and potentially others) can do something well enough to accomplish the goal required, whether its via your solution, or a potentially better solution offered by someone else (whether above or below you in your corporate hierarchy).

ARROGANCE is knowing you can do something well enough to accomplish the goal required, while knowing that either:
- You are the ONLY ONE that can accomplish this;
and/or,
- It's because only YOUR IDEA(s) are good enough to meet the challenge.

Confidence is knowing you are good. Where as arrogence has the projected element of "I am better than you" (with or without competence).

I'd like to know if anyone besides me has noticed there is often an inverse relationship between confidence and competence.

In response to the question: "what if you're wrong?", a confident person will either have a Plan B (at least conceptually), or will have the honesty to say something like "well, I'd have to see what happened and go from there"

The arrogant person will answer the question either flippantly, or with something like "You ought to just back off, take a look at it, relax, understand that it's complicated, it's difficult," or just "But I'm NOT wrong"

Confidence is believing I can accomplish some particular thing and being correct in that assessment. Arrogance is holding exactly the same belief and being wrong about it. All quarterbacks believe they can do the job, but in hindsight most of them are arrogant in that belief.

When I look at others I label them as confident when I agree with their self-assessment, arrogant when I do not.

Some of the comments above confuse self-centered with arrogant. If I cannot do what I think I can, I am arrogant no matter how I express it.

There is a difference between "confidence" and "arrogance." People who know what they are doing exude confidence (security). People who think they know what they are doing exude arrogance (insecurity).

I am sorry, But I see no direct connect btween Confidence and Arrogance. Confidence is a point of view based on objective experience and competence, slightly tempered by internal dynamics. Arrogance is a point of view based on internal dymanics, only slightly tempered by experience or competence.
I agree that Confidence is not a put down, though other may react to it as if it were. And Arrogance at least implies a put down, though other may not notice it.

Let's face it...in every room, someone HAS to be the smartest person.

Confident people have a pretty good idea of where they stand with respect to the rest of the people in the room.

Arrogant people think it matters.

I experience someone as arrogant when they are unwilling to consider other people's input. The difference between arrogant and confident is the lack of listening. Teamwork involves listening for the goals behind other team members' input.

I would expand on the remark that "confidence and arrogance are the exact same trait -- the difference is others' perception of the person. If people like you, you're confident. If people disklike you, you're arrogant." Sometimes a person's apparent 'dislike' is an expression of that person's own lack of confidence in himself -- more a defensive reaction than an honest evaluation -- and likewise, the appearance of approval sometimes masks a lack of engagement or understanding, an effort to curry favor, or some other disingenuousness. The terms are both apparent evaluations of others, but often our opinions say more about ourselves than they say about others.

Confidence - Belief in the the abilities of onesself, another person, a team, a company even a system. Self confidence being belief specifically in one's own abilities.

Arrogance - A belief that one (or one's chosen group) is intrinsically better than others. There are two dimensions to the belief. First that those possessing a particular talent/skill are better than those without it. The second that one is better at the particular talent/skill than others.

Competence - Actual posession of the abilities needed for a task.

Believing that I am the best programmer (writer, athlete, whatever) in the room, whether correct or incorrect, does not make me arrogant. If my belief is based on ignorance or bad information then I may be mistaken without being arrogant.

Believing that because I am the best programmer (writer, athlete, whatever) in the room that I am more important or better than others makes me arrogant. The belief may even be true but that still does not make me more important than the others.

One can be arrogant, confident and competent all at once. The competence usually makes the arrogance easier to take. What is unfortunate, is that so often arrogance is paired with a lack of competence which just compounds the insult.

Confidence and competence without arrogance is the goal.

Thank you, Kurt. I wasn't entirely happy with any of the posts before yours, but couldn't really put my finger on why. You nailed it.

Reading your post, I realize it's like the old "knows what he knows" saying:

He who knows what he knows not is a child; teach him
He who knows not what he knows is asleep; wake him
He who knows not what he knows not is a fool; shun him
He who knows what he knows is wise; listen.

I agree with MikeS ...there is an inverse relationship...indeed. :)
"I'd like to know if anyone besides me has noticed there is often an inverse relationship between confidence and competence"