First off, most of us wish we had his problem. Second, while working at my current position we've had three people work for about a week, in different positions in the company, then call in to say they've changed their minds and quit.

I agree with not lying but you can simply say that you need some personal time. If you're not one of the owners of a business, you're not irreplacable and no tears will be shead on your behalf if the business needs to "let you go" later on. Go for gold because that's the only thing that you'll be able to take with you.

Surrounded needs to consider one more point - why is one potential salary offer double the other two? Is this a real career position or is the employer filling a stop-gap position? Example: a very large electronics/semiconductor company in Fort Worth (easy to guess who) that I was doing some work for at the time hired two engineers at premium salaries. The high salaries were offered to get the engineers to quicky accept and move in. The company was willing to pay high salaries because management knew that these jobs were just temporary,and the new engineers would be layed-off after eight months. Of course the company did not tell the new hires this. If an offer is too good to be true, it probably is.

I wonder why one job is offering twice the amount of two others. Either the location is very expensive compared to the others, the first two jobs are offering below market wages because they think they have the upper hand, or it is someone who likes to mess with people.

Here's an example of how the network of relationships works.

In 1999, I was managing a development group for a fairly large financial services firm. Remember, this was when programming talent was in very high demand, and I spent most lunch hours in a conference room with the IT HR recruiter winnowing through resumes looking for decent people.

After spending over a month wooing a particular programmer to come to work in our group, he finally started work. No word about other offers (but then I didn't expect him to share that with me anyway). He works until almost lunchtime, which is basically long enough to go through our HR incoming employee briefing, collect an employee handbook and coffee mug and finally sit down in his new cubicle. All smiles and happy with his brand new computer, etc.

He goes to lunch, but never returns. I get a call from him about two days later (he'd been ducking my calls to him). It turns out he'd decided to take another job offer and wouldn't be returning.

I'd wasted a LOT of time with this guy, only to find out he'd been bargaining with me in bad faith. Happily, at least for me, there's a rainbow to the story.

About 4 months later, he calls me on the phone and wants to know if "his" job is still available, since the other gig "just didn't work out". No apology for his previous actions, nothing. I took considerable pleasure in telling him that the senior developer position had been filled (it had), but there was another opening in my group for a junior developer. This guy actually had the brass to ask if he could take the position, but at his previous salary!

I told him that he was free to submit his resume, but warned him that during the hiring process he'd be interviewing with his prospective manager, which would be me - the same guy he'd left holding the bag a couple of months ago. I told him I would be fair and would take everything I had learned about him into account in making my decision for the hire.

He actually had to think about it - he must have been desparate.

Woody wrote: "If you're not one of the owners of a business, you're not irreplacable and no tears will be shead on your behalf if the business needs to "let you go" later on"

I beg to differ - even if you were one of the owners (partners) and choose to leave at some point, the other owners (partners) would treat you as "not irreplacable" and shed absolutely no tears when you leave.

Similar quandry faced me lately. I turned down a 45/hr contract position "start tomorrow", hoping 2 local permanent positions would pan out.

Hindsight tells me "take the bird in the hand", one can toss it if one lands an eagle.

Ethics be damned ? Maybe not... considering the new "at-will" employment mentality. Still, it's a small world, and be careful of bridges being burned...

All companies aren't amoral and all hiring managers aren't heartless bastards. As someone who manages a staff and is responsible for hiring decisions I think it is very important for candidates be as honest and upfront with me as possible. I try my best to do the same for them.

I would categorize an individual who accepted a position knowing that he was going to turn around and interview for another as a poor long-term prospect. Knowing that the candidate handled this situation in that way would set a pretty low expectation for similar future circumstances. On the other hand, if the person contacted me and said a much better offer was on the table and he would like time to evaluate it I would consider that much more positively. It would give me time to discuss the situation with the candidate, I might be able to add information to his decision making process, and it might even cause me to reconsider my offer.

I think it's a pretty simple test. Put yourself in the other person's position and ask yourself how you would handle the situation. If you aren't handling it in that way then you should rethink what you are doing.

Finally if right out of the box you take the position that you can't trust the other party then what's the point? You are predisposing yourself to a pretty poor working relationship. To put it more directly, if either party can't trust the other then working relationship is doomed from the start. If you don't have an expectation that the other party will act in a manner you find reasonable then don't go there.