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May 28, 2007 | Comments: (0)
When you're supposed to take unquestioning orders
Dear Bob ...
My manager uses meetings to give orders. She doesn't tolerate discussions. Whenever I try to make a suggestion, she cuts the meeting short, saying, "Haven't I just told you what to do? GET OUT OF MY OFFICE."
It happens regularly; it happens one-on-one only; I don't think I am confrontational, and I don't think I talk too much.
What's the best response to "Get Out"?
- Shut Out
Dear Shut Out ...
It depends. If your manager has any redeeming virtues, you might try to salvage the situation.
To do this, ask for some of her time. By doing so, you'll make that time your meeting, not hers. Then put your cards on the table. Explain that when she gives you an assignment but doesn't let you speak, it prevents you from clarifying points you find ambiguous or just don't understand, and that increases the risk of your performing the assignment incorrectly. Then ask her the best way for you to raise these points.
Prepare yourself for the meeting by focusing on being calm and professional throughout, regardless of how she behaves. Part of achieving this is anticipating likely responses on her part and how you'll deal with them. If you don't do this there's a good chance you'll become flustered somewhere along the line, which will make the meeting counterproductive.
Very important: Once you take this route, be careful to avoid phrasing anything as a suggestion (clearly a red-flag approach). Make everything like Jeopardy, where everything you say must be phrased as a question.
Only try this if there's a reason you want to continue to work for this manager, though. From your description I have to wonder why you'd want to do that.
And if you can't see why it's worthwhile, don't take the risk. Just take the initiative to find a different manager to work for.
Really, you'd just be doing what she told you to do.
- Bob
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Posted by Bob Lewis on May 28, 2007 05:12 PM
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Whenever I try to anticipate someone else's likely responses they always do or say something totally different and that leaves me even more flustered than if I hadn't gone through the exercise.
Posted by: Conrad Macina at May 30, 2007 03:15 PMOk, I'll admit that I have said the exact same thing to one of my direct reports. The reason he gets answers like that is because he questions EVERYTHING he is asked to do - from the simplest assignment to the most complex. He also argues over his directions, because he always thinks he 'has a better way'. And I also believe he purposely pretends to not understand. It gets very frustrating at times and I do completely lose my patience. I am normally a very patient person and I don't mind questions or clarifications if someone really does not understand the assigment. I do mind my time being wasted by pointless nonsense!
Shut Out should make sure he does not give the same impression to his supervisor.
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Three books. Three ways to change the world, your life, or at least Bob Lewis' bank account. Leading IT: The Toughest Job in the World distills the world of IT leadership into eight learnable skills and gives you concrete, practical techniques for each one of them. Bare Bones Project Management: What you can't not do makes project management manageable, even for first-time project managers with no formal training in the discipline. ManagementSpeak: What managers say/What they mean … well, it won't help your career, and won't make you a better manager. Mostly, it will make you chuckle, guffaw, and maybe even chortle. Make friends - it's the perfect gift for anyone who has ever suffered through one of those meetings. Order your copies today! |
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