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June 13, 2007 | Comments: (0)
Outside the inner circle
Dear Bob ...
I am working in an IT related field with SW and with people. We have a small team of less then 10 people and good communication skills are essential to do our job. Good "team spirit" is not a bad thing either, considering that we are just a small part of a huge organization of +10 000 employees globally, and we have to stand up for ourselves to keep our small group important and alive on a larger scale.
My problem is that recently I have started to notice that I am drifting away from my teammates for some reason. I don't know how it happened that way, but suddenly I started to hear that they are having free time activities together and I was not invited. Furthermore, suddenly it looks also that another newer guy (who is included in those activities) has passed me in the promotion line, although I of course feel that I have been doing my job better than he has been doing his and, I have been here longer.
To put it in a nutshell, I suddenly noticed that I am not part of the inner circle in our small group anymore (if I ever was, but now even further from it), and it is not fun at all, since my boss seems to favor people in that "circle." I understand that this is a though question to answer, without knowing more about our group dynamics and personalities, but I'll ask anyway. Any advice on how to get back in to the popular gang?
- Outsider
Dear Outsider ...
I have no great answer for this. I'm not even sure my answer will rate "good." For whatever it's worth:
Start by doing as much close observing as you can without it becoming creepy. One question you need to answer is whether inner-circlism is the result of perceived ability or interpersonal chemistry.
If what's going on is that others on your team don't trust your ability or judgment, start paying attention to how those who are most respected act in group settings and compare that to your own habits. You might, inadvertently, be sending out cues that suggest poorer performance than you are, in fact, delivering. The hard part will be recognizing which behavior patterns on your part aren't working with this group of people. The not-quite-so-hard part will be avoiding them in the future.
If the problem is lack of trust, though, the best solution I know of is to ask for help. Most people, most of the time, are flattered at this and will provide it, so long as the request is sincere and doesn't make you out to be a bowb. ("I'm trying to decide what to have for lunch - can you help?" makes you a bowb. "I'm working on some recommendations for our future server environment and I'm stuck on a point - can you give me ten minutes to talk it through?" makes you a professional.)
Be judicious in this - there's a point where asking for help turns you into a pest. The point of the exercise is to act as an ice breaker, to re-establish the habit of interacting with you casually among your erstwhile teammates.
If, however, the problem is purely interpersonal chemistry, you're probably best off resorting to professionalism. Recognize that you aren't going to get the emotional satisfaction you'd prefer from work, and look for it elsewhere instead. Make sure all of your dealings with your colleagues are completely pleasant and professional and leave it at that.
There's one more if, though: If the situation degrades further, so that instead of your merely feeling like you're outside the inner circle you instead start to feel devalued and marginalized, it's time to either have a heart-to-heart talk with your manager or find a different opportunity in a more congenial environment.
Oh, by the way - this is for your manager and not for you: An inner circle in a group of nine? What's that about? In some organizations, nine would be an inner circle.
- Bob
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Posted by Bob Lewis on June 13, 2007 06:37 AM
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Its a great thing that you recognize what is happening and also you are able to see your own reactions to this instead of being carried away by the situation (completely).
Asking for help is very hard, but I have found it to be valuable in similar situations. Provided that everyone is acting professionaly and has the best interests of the company in mind - it is a good strategy. The results will surprise you.
A recent book by Geshe Michael Roach - "The Diamond Cutter: The Buddha on Managing your Business and Your Life", notes "common business problems and their real solutions".
One suggestion for a circumstance where no-one is listening to you, would be to become extremely careful to speak the truth and keep all your commitments. Over time this would have the effect that your words become more effective.
It seems to help for me. But I still have a looong way to go!
-Richie
At the end of the day, the one redeeming factor you have is your professional "chops." I was on a high-profile project with a clique, and often felt excluded, but I kept my head down and kept delivering the goods. (What else could I do?) Yes, my ego took a beating, but I always tried to maintain an objective viewpoint and kept my eye on the ball. Mid-project, a new team member, project manager and an outside consultant were introduced to the team. They recognized that I "got it" with the detail of what we were trying to accomplish.
The new team dynamics somehow totally deflated the 'inner-circle.' Those who were in this inner circle suddenly became competitive with each other. Because I maintained my professional objectivity throughout, "played nice with others," and kept delivering high-quality work (that wasn't always immediately recognized) I suddenly became the expert, and noticed other team members coming to me for input, mediation, and...leadership. The project's customers and sponsorship view me as a subject matter expert. If I had been too busy making cube talk and worrying about whether I was invited to poker night, I wouldn't have gained the edge and associated know-how authority that I have now. And on top of that, I'm now right in the middle of team social activities --and I acutely understand the value of including all others.
Clique dynamics are very fluid. I think it's kind of like high school: Stick to your homework and get good grades because that's all that is ultimately valuable in a competitive professional environment; the popular kids will be working for you someday.
Posted by: SS at June 13, 2007 02:18 PMThe problem is with your MANAGER, not necessarily with you. Too bad. Actually, as a Director of QA I tell my teams that it isn't important that all team members like each other. It's important that all team members understand that they exist to work individually and as a team to assure the success of: the team goals, their assigned projects, the organization, and the individuals who make up the team.
If one team member sports a mohawk and espouses a belief in buddhism, another is a devout muslim who thinks women are inferior, and a third is a lesbian-feminist who rides a motorcycle... oh well!
We are professionals responsible for helping each other and the company be successful. That's the key thing to understand, and what your manager should be emphasizing.
Partying with the team after work? I never did that because I wouldn't enjoy it. Life is too short to party if partying is not what you like.
Get your job done the most effective way possible. That's what you were hired to do.
Your MANAGER should be ensuring that not just the team in toto but each member of the team is recognized, and held accountable!, for their contributions to the success of the team goals. Inner circles... that sounds like something the Wiccan on the team would enjoy. Leave it for him or her. Go talk to your Manager, because THAT person is not doing his or her job by allowing the synergy of the team to dissipate, which it sure seems is happening!
Posted by: Violet Weed at June 14, 2007 02:00 PM|
Three books. Three ways to change the world, your life, or at least Bob Lewis' bank account. Leading IT: The Toughest Job in the World distills the world of IT leadership into eight learnable skills and gives you concrete, practical techniques for each one of them. Bare Bones Project Management: What you can't not do makes project management manageable, even for first-time project managers with no formal training in the discipline. ManagementSpeak: What managers say/What they mean … well, it won't help your career, and won't make you a better manager. Mostly, it will make you chuckle, guffaw, and maybe even chortle. Make friends - it's the perfect gift for anyone who has ever suffered through one of those meetings. Order your copies today! |
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