A few higher-ups in my department frequently go on outings to social events. They are all part of the "inner-circle" of team members who have similar interests and get along well. They also like to call these outings "business meetings."
I know what goes on at these "business meetings." It involves drinking and crude behavior but rarely involves any discussion resembling work related topics. The higher-ups are also compensated for their time when they go on these trips because they don't put in the day.
Well, I was recently invited to one of these business meetings and I know drinking will be involved. This may be an attempt to bring me closer to the team but I'm a professional and I want to keep it that way. I need to make sure that my personal life doesn't spill over in to my career and vice versa. I would not mind attending this but I have two problems ...
The higher-ups are my direct superiors ... is there any way I can keep things on track to make sure it's a business meeting? The drinking and the fact that we'll be at a sporting event makes me believe not.
Also, my superior asked me to make up the time. Now, I'm a salaried employee and I often work later than I have to. I'm trying to make sure that I show them I would like to be seen as a team player but I also think it's a bit unfair that they require me to make up this time (which I feel I have already) and they do not have to themselves.
I'm also certain that things will not be kept on track with a business meeting and if they are, why do I have to make up time that I've worked?
What do I do?
- Defenseman or Offense, man?
Dear D or O ...
Here's my guess, and it's just a guess: For the higher ups, the social events do constitute business time, given an expansive definition of the term. It's probably an opportunity to relax, be less buttoned up, and have candid conversations they can't have in the office for whatever reason, valid or perceived.
Some of the higher ups who like your work decided you deserve a perk. They figured inviting you to the corporate sky box (or whatever) would be something you'd appreciate. And maybe you would.
Then, some of the other higher ups expressed concern over the precedent it would set or message it would send. In the spirit of compromise, they all agreed the right answer would be to invite you (concession to group #1) but require you to make up the time (concession to group #2).
It's a special case of the formula IQ(g) = Average(IQ)/n, where IQ(g) is the IQ of the group, Average(IQ) is the average IQ of the individual group members, and n is the number of people in the group.
And here you are, in an awkward situation as a result.
I think you have two choices. One is to grin and bear it, figuring the ability to interact in a more social setting, showing everyone you're a member of "the Club" (the business equivalent of a high-school clique; where membership is hard to pin down but essential to success) is worth the extra time on the job.
The other choice is to let your boss know that while you appreciate the invitation, he keeps you busy enough that making up the lost time would be a significant burden, and so, with regrets, you'll have to pass.
I do need to make a point to you: That alcoholic beverages will be part of an event does not automatically place it beyond the ethical pale. Overconsumption leading to boorish behavior is another matter; boorish behavior is a problem with or without conversational lubricants.
If the presence of beer, wine and cocktails is your only reason for not attending, I'd suggest you reconsider. If you prefer to not partake, you can either simply say "no thank you" and pour yourself something non-alcoholic, or you can smile, say "Ten years next month," and leave it to the other person to draw a conclusion.
In this day and age there's no stigma at all to belonging to AA. In fact, in some circles it's considered something of a rite of passage.
- Bob
Posted by Bob Lewis on June 25, 2008 05:47 AM
