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April 30, 2007 | Comments: (0)
When Critical Updates kill
As the flame wars over last week's post about Windows and Linux continue to rage, I thought I'd toss more gasoline onto the blaze. This one is about Microsoft's incredibly flawed update process (which was invented, of course, to fix Microsoft's incredibly flawed software).
After frequent Cringe contributor D.S. installed Automatic Update KB934238, he discovered that his computer was phoning home to some IP address on the Verizon Business Network.
The reason why his computer felt the need to reach out and touch some Web server remains shrouded in mystery. But what's clear is that D.S. got off easy. Other Windows sufferers who installed the same update report that it killed their HP printer drivers. A few truly unfortunate victims on the Microsoft forums say it killed their computers outright:
Please help. I just installed KB934268 and KB934238, and after it was finished chose to restart my computer, but it won't boot up. It won't even recognize my monitor so I can't see anything.
What was this "critical update," exactly? The Microsoft Knowledge Base describes it thusly:
On non-English versions of Windows Server 2003 and Windows XP, some text in the print dialog box unexpectedly appears in English after you install the .NET Framework 3.0.
Ay Carumba! Another global disaster narrowly averted. The entire non-English speaking world must be incontinent with gratitude.
Memo to Microsoft: This is not a critical update. It's barely qualifies as an optional one. And yet users must jump through hoops to keep Update from automatically installing it. Yet another reason why Microsoft deserves all the bashing it gets, in this space and elsewhere.
FYI, If your computer has been hosed by this or any other security update, you can contact Microsoft tech support without having to pony up for the call: 1-866-PCSAFETY (727-2338). Tell 'em Cringe sent ya.
Has Windows Update hosed you or helped you? Post your opinions below or email them to me here. (Warning: asbestos boxers are recommended.)
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on April 30, 2007 08:56 AM
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I believe the Windows Update (automatic) is a weapon of mass destruction. Aside from accidental side effects (which are bad) the potential to take down a huge percentage of the countries computer infrastructure is truly horrifying. After my last two Windows crashes that took out the hard drives, I no longer keep valuable data on Windows system. In fact the only remaining Windows machine I have is only used to run the Sling Box Player in my bedroom. There have been times my Windows machines seemed to be stable, but something happened and they got flaky. A look at the installed software packages showed a profound number of hot patches. Maybe after the system is composed of over fifty percent patches, it falls over from a skewed center of gravity, or it's opposite comedy.
Posted by: Douglas Goodall at April 30, 2007 10:33 AMMy machine never worked right after SP2. Further patches caused more problems. The motherboard and PSU eventually blew and there no longer any Windows machines in my house. Sure don't miss monthly patches and problems.
Posted by: Cal at May 1, 2007 01:27 PMAnd windows just keeps getting better and better. People need to set automatic update to just let you know an update is available, but don't download it. Only download an update if you're sure it works, which means, wait for other people to test it before testing it on your machine.
Posted by: frank bonas jr at May 1, 2007 04:23 PMYou all are fools. I've been running window$ forever, and because of common sense I've never had the problems you describe. fools.
Posted by: Bob at May 1, 2007 06:04 PMBack in the sixties when I was a little kid my dad bought a new car every year and drove it to death in 12 months. He always bought brand A, which gave him good service.
Friends of his bought brand B cars, and loved them. One told dad he had had a brand new B for 14 months, and had no problems. Dad pointed out that this particular B had suffered through one transmission replacement and a transmission overhaul during those 14 months. The B owner's reply was a classic:
"Well, transmission replacement is just part of having a new car. I don't really consider it a problem."
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Normal people wonder why the abused wife goes home to get beat up every night. "Just leave him," they say.
But that's hard. Walking away means giving up a familiar situation and support structure, so she goes back and back and back.
So - Halfway Houses and Shelters were created to deal with this situation, and they have been used to good effect.
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A Halfway House for Windows users! Fantastic idea! Lets get one started!
"Ay Carumba! Another global disaster narrowly averted. The entire non-English speaking world must be incontinent with gratitude."
That's got to be the best line ever. I may use it but I'll be sure to footnote Cringe.
Posted by: Tom at May 2, 2007 10:51 AMThis is an old board, but I just have to say, I have been running windows for 11 years with no problems besides ones I created myself (which I also fixed myself). Always download all the updates, never had a problem there. You guys must f*ck up your systems and then blame microsoft, that's pretty lame! learn how to use it and then come back here to post true results.
Posted by: Brian at October 2, 2007 06:20 PM
