A slogan for Microsoft? Easy: "Where is your wallet?"

Greed is good.

Your potential, our patent... our profit... our property... etc...

Write your own code: $0.00,
Meet our lawyers: send all your money
We now own your product: priceless

Bonus points to PhilB--I think that comes close to being a Haiku!

All your ideas are belong to MSFT.

At MSFT, Outsourcing US Jobs is Job 1.

Capitalizing on the fact that WC Fields underestimated the frequency since 1975

It's not a bug, it's a feature.

You will be assimilated...

Bend over, here it comes!

Microsoft: See what having more money than brains can do!

Yesterday's technology, tomorrow.

The slogans were created by a bunch of people who's only real brush with the company's customers is either by accident or via tightly controlled focus groups. A lot are MBAs, most have lived all their lives behind corporate walls and firmly believe expensive research firms/analysts and focus groups truly, accurately represent the world.

When you have people being paid 6 figures to bear director or GM titles and sit in their offices to figure out what the world really wants, should you be surprised with the results?

I remember SteveB getting really upset several years ago when MS was likened to IBM which was funny cos there's a lot of truth to that. Not the case anymore today; at least in 1 aspect. IBM knows its customers a lot better than MS ever has.

Microsoft slogan? We are the world.

"Capitalizing on the fact that WC Fields underestimated the frequency since 1975
Posted by: JohnQ at June 28, 2007 11:25 AM"

This refers to what? At a SWAG, the birthrate of the gullible. If so, it was P.T. Barnum, not W.C. Fields. If not, please enlighten us.

For a slogan, how about copying on old Buick one that always puzzled me?

When better software is coded, we will code it.

Doesn't say they are coding better software - just when it is, they will.

MS Slogan?

T H N I K

The writer here is clueless.. What? Are not bloggers and matter fact people in general all swayed one way or another. Companies have been giving stuff to people for decades to sway there opinion. Look at all the advertisement on your favorite race car, or in your favorite movie. Be it gifts, money, whatever. What, are you really ignorant enough to think that nice looking blonde is really using an x10 camera at home to be checked out? Please, people are stupid, and the fact that everyone is wasting there time complaining about this is absolutely stupid.

Creating tomorrow's problems with yesterdays software today.

A tagline seen at www.groklaw.net:

Where do you want to go toady ?

Amongst my favs are:

* Bend over and smile.
* Spontaneous reboots are the industry standard.
* Obey! Obey! OBEY!

Some answers to their old "where do you want to go today" campaign:

* Where do you think you're going?
* Oh. Did you want to go somewhere today?
* Where do we want you to go today?
* You can't get there from here.

And my very first faultlog entry, back when i first installed Win98 (which has recurred, identically, on various machines--ruling out faulty hardware):

* EXPLORER caused an invalid page fault in module KERNEL32.DLL at 0167:bff9d709

Which leads us to:

* Illegal operations are how we do business.

Less for more, from the moral less

Occasionally I will ask my 16 year old daughter, "Where do you want to go today?" Mercifully, she doesn't understand the significance of my question.

Dirty Windows. Cleaning up all over the world.

Surely "WC Fields" is a mistake for "PT Barnum", and the year is off in at least the hundreds place.

Does a "people ready" business have anything to do with Soylent Green?

Microsoft slogans? Sure.

Along with:
"War is Peace"
"Freedom is Slavery"
"Ignorance is Strength"

there is:

"Crap is Quality"

The point he's making is that bloggers, while pretending to be journalists, fail to adhere to the standards of ethics that we expect of traditional news reporters.

If a writer for the Wall Street Journal produced a glowing financial review of a company, and it were later revealed that they were pre-compensated by that company in exchange for the review, they would likely be fired. How do you fire a blogger? Unsubscribe to their RSS feed?

uberReg: Illegal operations are just another way of protecting you from doing something you didn't realize you didn't want to do: "Trust us, we know what you want ...and we know where you want to go today"

"Gaping holes for the hacker-ready OS�
"Quality is always over the horizon"
"The OW starts now"
"The HOW? starts now"
"We patented your patents"
"With a name like Microsoft, it has to be good"
"Windows: It's virtually the real thing"
"We don't build the computer; we make it slower"

But why not skip to the chase with some that can't be beat, even though they're not original:
"Monsters, Inc: We scare because we care"
and
"Thievery Corporation"

How about this one:

"At Microsoft, quality is job SP1."

I find it hard to believe anyone is making a big issue out of any ad slogan. Did everyone forget that even with MS, sales are driven by the market? Open up any commercial web site or trade rag and you cannot count the poor or even just bad marketing ads/slogans . . . So is this a dissertation on successful marketing 101 or just bash Microsoft . . . Or is it about people taking money for their service/opinions . . . Hey I have read CRINGELY even before the web was popular . . . and I have never mistaken it for anything but what it is . . . an opinion that is publish only as long as people are reading it and companies are willing to pay advertizing $$$ to the authors and publishing companies . . . nothing more or less.

Funny use of the term, oubliette, as in your closing line, "...flushed down the virtual oubliette." I didn't recognize the term, so looked it up, the online dictionaries seem to all agree it means, "a dungeon with the only entrance or exit being a trap door in the ceiling." Somehow I don't see the use of flush and oubliette as being really as base as you are attempting to imply; why don't you just say, "toilet?"

When less than the best will do

Suggested slogan: Where do you want Bill Gates to go today?

"Thank you sir, may I have another?"

MicroSoft:
SmallSoftware

The winner goes to John Hedtke so far; I actually laughed out loud at that one. The best humor is something that is both funny and true. And if I was in the marketing department at Microsoft, I'd try to see if I could get away with the slogan "hi mom, love Kurt" since no one really seems to care what they do anyway.

First you buy it...then the WOW starts when we make you rent it.

Actually, I think I would have phrased that
slightly different.

"When better software is coded, we will con the
author out of it and then patent it.

Bob C.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
For a slogan, how about copying on old Buick one that always puzzled me?

When better software is coded, we will code it.

Doesn't say they are coding better software - just when it is, they will.
Posted by: Al at June 29, 2007 07:27 AM

I'm another vote for John Hedtke's.

At MS, quality is job number service pack 1

Says it all. And like good advertising, it even implies more: that quality actually occurs on the release of SP 1 ;-)

We're not satisfied until you're not satisfied.

WC said "Never give a sucker an even break", and 1975 is when MICROSOFT started, not WC Fields...

PT Barnum said "there's a sucker born every minute".

maybe this is more apropos?
"If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull."

Fleshed out my last one:
* At Microsoft, "Illegal Operation" isn't just a slogan; it's a way of life.

I have to hand it to Billy for naming a company Micro,soft and making it flourish. Maybe i should start one and name it Smallflacid. (Somehow i don't thing that Megahard would be received well in polite circles.) ;)

"Quality is SP1" Good one! Could be taken a couple of ways: wait for SP1 and/or beware WinXP SP2 debacle. (I'm sticking with Win2k SP4, for now.) :)

[Aaak! who defined the tab-order on this page?]

If you wanted quality,
Jobs would have won.

or

Pay up, shut up
We control your life

The funny part is Windows is on over 90% of every single computer in the world!!! You are a complete fool is you think that Microsoft is going down. They have almost 60 Billion dollars in cash. Just sitting that in a savings account at 6% is over 3.6 Billion dollars a year.

There is no doubt that Windows has bugs. I do not use Windows on my home computer I use Linux (Ubuntu).

Think about this, why is Windows on 90% of every single computer out there. Are all of you saying that 90% of all computer users are dumb, that they dont know what is going on, or what? Because if you are then you are the dumb one. I think that people need to learn to accept the things that they cannot change!

You can always use something else or create another operating system.

Or maybe better yet send out one of those dumb emails about how we should stop buying gas on a certain day, just have it say stop buying Windows products on that certain day.

Microsoft is not going any where for a while so accept it or use something else and stop complaining about something that YOU ARE JEALOUS OF OR SOMETHING THAT YOU WISHED YOU CREATED!

Oh and Tim, Jobs created his operating system that is based off of Unix.

Gah! We're just venting our frustrations. :)

I'm not going to argue that Windows doesn't have gobs of momentum that will keep it alive—especially since most people seem to be the sort that will adhere to whatever is popular, whether it makes sense or not. (And a lot of extremely popular things are far stupider than any OS trend could ever be—SUVs, for example, which are neither very sporty nor very utile.) Micro,soft aren't going anywhere any time soon. Hoards of people have been tolerating Windows gradually squandering more and more computing resource for no apparent reason, and compensating by throwing more hardware at it, since 1995, if not 1990, without giving it a second thought. The horrendous overhead of Fister ..er.. Vista's crunching of encryption keys to satisfy the MPAA's futile efforts to shelter a largely doomed business model from its inevitable fate, will probably not be much different. Enough people will be willing to just throw more money at the problem that it won't hurt MS, much.

But "Windows is on over 90% of every single computer in the world" is a remark of a very tired sort. I dislike unqualified assertions, in general, but this is one of that particular variety that are so bent that i can only conclude that they were beget of marketing propaganda. Being a pathological language nitpicker, i'm compelled to pick it apart.

Lets start by getting semantics out of the way: more than 10% of "every single computer in the world" are not capable of running Windows. The computing world is not entirely PCs—much less IBMoid.

If we narrow it down to PCs (in the generic sense)—and, for the sake of simplicity, stick to current models—we must consider that the Mac currently has about 6% market share (and probably very few are buying them to run Windows), which means that we're assuming that only 4% of all PCs are running something other than MacOS or Windows. Let's not forget that there are other OSs besides those and the unixoids (for example i know people whose primary OS is OS/2.)

You MIGHT be able to get away with "90% of all of the computers that Windows can run on are running Windows—at least part time" (especially if you include all of the HPCs, PocketPCs, PDA, phones, etc that run some WinCE based OS). In which case, say that.

I'm mainly bitching about faulty language, of course (a favourite tool of the advertising industry). What can i say; it's a peeve. :)

On the other hand, the cited remark didn't actually say that Windows is actually running on those computers—only that it is on them—perhaps only stored. So maybe the ad copy is not quite void of literal truth. :P

(I'm probably going to get flamed for this. Oh well. Fair warning: i'll ignore anything pointless.) :)

(Oh, by the way: mostly Win2k user, here.)

Microsoft might sound small and floppy but bend over for a new user experience...

Not mine . . .

Microsoft: Where quality is job #1.1

Here's MS new slogans:

We'd tear your mother's kidneys out and sell them but we're in the software business.

or

Where the f*** do you think you are going today?

Good day! I only want to say the following: "Shoemaker to your shoes". If you are not a marketeer, don't try to understand what those things mean. It seems you don't use a single MS product, so, ignorance is queen in this cases.

The only thing you need to be successful in marketing is a creative spelling. Marketers are the scourge of the English language.

Why not use WinDoze - 4 the people ready BizNez

Pure Genius, I really need to head for Madison Ave.)