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March 17, 2008 | Comments: (0)
Diamonds are a CEO's best friend
At the end of Friday's blog entry, I posited the question, "Is anything really worth $3000 an hour?" I was referring to Ashley Alexandra Dupre, aka "Kristen," the hard working and highly compensated escort who took down Eliot Spitzer (in case you were hiding in a cave last week and missed it). But Cringester J. T. responded quite rightly that, at that rate, the answer would include anyone earning an annual salary of roughly $6.2 million or more, assuming a 40 hour work week and paid vacations.
According to Forbes' 2007 survey, the average annual CEO compensation for 2006 was $15.2 million -- or about the cost of two 7-diamond escorts and one somewhat skankier 3-diamond model. Of course, whether these Chief Escort Officers are actually worth that amount is another question. Ashley earned high marks from her clients; not so Wal-Mart CEO H. Lee Scott Jr, for example, who brought home $9 million in '06 while his company's stock tanked.
It's not just business types, obviously. Among pro athletes, Tiger Woods' 2007 haul is estimated by Sports Illustrated at $112 million, mostly from endorsements. Can't complain about the man's performance on the links, but I think his vocal delivery is a little stiff. Highest paid entertainer is Oprah, at $260 million. Her vocal delivery is spot on, but she can't putt worth a damn.
Topping them all though, is none other than Steve Jobs, who took home a salary of exactly $1 last year -- barely enough to cover a single download from iTunes. Of course, he also pocketed vested stock worth $647 million -- which would give him a diamond rating of around 104, not accounting for tips. A bargain at twice the price.
Speaking of Jobs, Cringe fan W. M. has nominated the father of the Jesus Phone as the best tech exec to fill Bill Gates' tennies as a target of high-tech loathing. "Shed the Teflon and go after the king of the pod people," he urges me.
Thanks, but no thanks. I get enough hate mail as it is.
Got hot tips, preferably ones that won't get me flamed? Send them to me direct or post them below. Cool swag awaits Cringesters whose suggestions make it into this blog.
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Posted by Robert X. Cringely on March 17, 2008 07:19 AM
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Please check out Melissa Gira Grant's postings on this topic at ValleyWag.com for the inside scoop on this story. Having worked in the profession herself, Melissa clarifies the erroneous "$3000-$5000/hour" rate many newspapers are mistakenly reporting. She claims that these kinds of payments made to escort services such as the Emperor's Club are not hourly rates for prostitutes, but simply retainer fees allowing folks like Client 9/Spitzer to rent the services of a worker like Ashley Alexandra Dupre for a specified period of time, like say, the entire weekend as opposed to a single night. She would then be available to him at any time during the contracted period, rather than for specified hours or times where he might have a conflict and be unable to meet with her.
This makes far more sense from a business standpoint than the misinterpretation of the fee you quoted, which only perpetuates the myth of the $5000/hour hooker.
Whether you agree with her choice or not, Ms. Dupre was merely working at the world's oldest profession. Governor Spitzer's claim to fame was his moral standing and his integrity which was apparently not as great as he would have had us believe. Ms Dupre did not take Eliot Spitzer down; Mr Spritzer did that all by himself.
signed: one very disappointed New Yorker
Posted by: markle at March 17, 2008 04:55 PMAs any consultant knows, not all hours are billable.
Posted by: Anon E. Mous at March 17, 2008 06:14 PMAt least the escorts are mostly straight forward about their services. Politicians and CEOs have been screwing the rest of us for all of eternity.
Posted by: SteveH at March 18, 2008 05:55 AMI propose a new measure of compensation out of this sad mess. As SteveH notes, corporate executives have essentially been doing the same thing, so I propose we use the same measure.
The unit of measure will be the Kristen, which is deemed to be $4,000 per hour. So, assuming that a business executive making the 2006 average of $15.2 million a year actually works 1,650 hours that year, then he (or she) is making 2.3 Kristens. This unit of measure is much easier to manage than the 7, 8 and 9 digit obscenities, and will remind us each time we use it that these executives, like hookers, are in the business of screwing their customers...
Posted by: Alaska Fan at March 18, 2008 12:11 PMSteve Jobs salary should be measured in ipods, not diamonds - diamonds are so 1990's.
whats the deal with partial feeds? I would actually read most posts if I didnt have to leave my feed reader.
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