- Geek Week: Sequoia gets felled, digital census quelled
- Dell's hot new line of business
- Google's Brin feeling pretty lucky
- Microsoft: We canna take na more, cap'n
- Readers Write (Bite) Back
- The two Internets
- Microsoft and the age of insecurity
- No spies on us
- Five predictions for 2007
- If it ain't Barack, don't fix it
April 11, 2008 | Comments: (0)
Geek Week: Sequoia gets felled, digital census quelled
When you least expect it, you're elected. Sequoia Voting Systems may believe that shipping its source code off to some good ol' boy in Texas is all the independent testing they require, but a New Jersey judge thinks different. She's issued subpoenas for voting machines in six NJ counties where the machines were unable to perform 3rd grade math. Meanwhile, Princeton researcher Ed Felten has looked at more Sequioa voting machines and says the problem is worse than he originally thought. (Felten is the same guy who demonstrated how a Diebold voting machine is only slightly harder to hack than a box of Cracker Jacks – and those machines are still in use today.)
Taking leave of their census. The U.S. Census bureau will be taking notes using paper and pencil again, after completely bollixing its plan to digitize its data collection process. An ambitious plan to outfit thousands of census takers with handheld computers went awry after the cost of the machines zoomed from $1200 apiece (overpriced) to $8600 apiece. (Shades of $600 toilet seats.) Bureau officials and Harris Corp., the company commissioned to build the handhelds, have sprained their digits pointing fingers at who's to blame. Luckily, if the paper and pencil scheme doesn't work, they do have a backup plan: Using a chunk of coal and the back of a shovel.
Got hot tips or ways to hack the vote? Post them below or email me here: cringe (at) infoworld (dot) com. Top tipsters will be elected to win cool swag.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on April 11, 2008 08:02 AM
July 16, 2007 | Comments: (0)
Dell's hot new line of business
Cringe regular D. F. believes he may have discovered how Dell plans to turn itself around - by engaging in new and more provocative side businesses.
D. F., an east coast reseller, asked Dell for a couple of quotes on systems for his clients. All was well until he called the toll-free phone number listed for the Dell sales rep and was treated a recorded message inviting him to "jump into fun exciting live talk now" for just $2.99 a minute.
Either that, or Dell customer support now answers the phone with "Hey there sexy guy, welcome to an exciting new way to go live one on one with hot horny girls just dying to talk to you." (Which would be a heck of an improvement, if you ask me.)
D. F. says that when he said he wanted a laptop, Dell must have thought he asked for a lapdance. Happens to me all the time, only usually in reverse.
Does your hardware company talk dirty to you? Share your secrets below or email them to me here. Operators are standing by...
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on July 16, 2007 05:02 AM
May 15, 2007 | Comments: (0)
Google's Brin feeling pretty lucky
Bad news, ladies, there's one less eligible billionaire to go around.
Last weekend, leading G-man Sergey Brin and his longtime galpal Anne Wojcicki got hitched in a small private ceremony.
According to the Washington Post's Reliable Sources column, wedding guests boarded the Google Jet and were whisked away to an undisclosed location in the Bahamas, where Brin and Bride were wed on a small sandbar.
According to my own Unreliable Source (who hid in the G-Jet's luggage compartment and snorkeled to the sandbar wearing a neoprene tuxedo), the ceremony was performed by actor Mike Myers dressed as Dr. Evil. Maid of Honor and Best Man were Foxxy Cleopatra and Mini-Me, respectively, and security for the event was provided by sharks with friggin' laser beams attached to their heads.
The wedding was made possible only after a team of Google attorneys labored throughout the night, hammering out the final details of a prenup for the $16.6 billion Googlionaire. (According to the agreement, if the couple does split up, Wojcicki will receive a cash payment of $100 million, plus custody of the first O and second G in the Google logo on alternate weekends.)
We in Cringeville wish them a long and happy union.
Editor's Note: InfoWorld has serious concerns about the accuracy of the foregoing item. Though Cringely insists each detail has been scrupulously fact checked, we are not entirely convinced. Individuals with first-hand knowledge of the event are encouraged to contact us via email or post their comments below.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on May 15, 2007 03:00 AM
May 14, 2007 | Comments: (0)
Microsoft: We canna take na more, cap'n
Bad news for fans of dead trekkers: The rocket that was to transport the ashes of Federation Starship Commander Montgomery Scott (aka actor James Doohan) into orbit has blown off course and is now stranded somewhere in New Mexico's San Andres Mountains. Officials at UP Aerospace Inc. are trying to locate their rocket before they're forced to change the company name to DOWN Aerospace Inc.
In a similar vein, Microsoft XP users found themselves stranded when their Windows Automatic Update went off course following Microsoft's massive patchfest last Tuesday. Apparently svchost.exe completely took over users' CPU cycles, causing a meltdown in their dilithium chambers. A hotfix issued by Microsoft has done nothing to solve the problem, though disabling automatic updates seems to be the best workaround.
No word whether Scotty's rocket was running Windows Automatic Update at the time of the crash. But I suspect the Romulans had a hand in all this.
Got hot tips or obscure Trek trivia? Beam them to me here or post them below. Top tipsters will quality for a stunning Cringe bag.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on May 14, 2007 08:25 AM
May 11, 2007 | Comments: (0)
Should candidates have their own MySpace page, a la Obama? Cringesters who've emailed me respond with a resounding “No.” But reader W. O. offers up a capital idea:
I don't know about MySpace, but it would be nice for all the candidates to have an Internet presence. To tell what they care about. To tell us why they are competent. To tell us what they think is important, and how they plan to make it happen. And it should probably be designed by someone involved in the campaign, with some input by the actual candidate. (Like maybe he or she should actually touch the keyboard.)
True enough. Unfortunately, most US politicos get stumped just looking for the “any” key.
Meanwhile, Cringester K. R. sees Dell's possible comeback going down in flames.
Since fires were erupting in Dell’s Servers – I do not purchase, I have spent $200,000+ on IBM Servers. Since fires were erupting in Dell’s Laptops – I do not purchase, I have spent $50,000+ on laptops. Since fire(ing)s happened to reasonable English speaking support – I do not call Dell for support.... Since a VINTAGE TRUCK was fired by Dell? F’em – they ought to replace the truck. Would have probably cost less than sending a team out to investigate the incident and couple that with the PR around that – I’m never buying a Dell until they replace the truck.
I got some interesting responses to my item about Google Trends. Unfortunately, most are unsuitable for a PG-13 rated blog like this one. Suffice it to say that the residents of Italy and France ought to pay special attention to the recent Johns Hopkins report about throat cancer.
Finally, amateur swami A.S. peers into his crystal ball and predicts:
When alien technology is revealed in 2012, and we all know we know more than we say we know we know, all of IT will be outsourced to an off-planet support group. We in IT development and support will be joining our brethren working down at the local 7-11 serving up Slurpy's and microwaveable chile dogs. Those in management will transported to an unrevealed location elsewhere in the solar system to manage intergalactic administrators that can't reveal the workings of their systems and only respond with "Gork!" when asked questions.Sounds about right to me. I, for one, welcome our new alien IT overlords.
Got hot tips or burning issues to discuss? Send me a note or post your pithy comments below. Top tipsters may receive a nifty Cringe bag for their efforts.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on May 11, 2007 09:22 AM
May 10, 2007 | Comments: (0)
Like reality, the Internet has a liberal bias. Or so say the folks at Quantum Communications in Harrisburg, PA, who have launched QubeTV – a "YouTube for conservatives."
Like the folks behind the Conservapedia, who decided the Wikipedia is a hotbed of left-wing surrender monkeys and started their own encyclopedia ("Now 100% evolution free!"), the Qubists believe that YouTube's millions of videos shunt aside that vital Fox News demographic. So they created their own viral video community on the Net.
It's an eclectic crowd. The long list of memes Qubists are pursuing include “commputers,” [sic] “insatiable interest in current events as they relate to Bible prophecy,” “spanking,” and “French horn solos.”
Of course, there are only two ways to ensure QubeTV stays on the True Path of Rightness. One is to censor any left-leaning material (which the site's founders have sworn not to do). The other is to hope that liberals either a) can't find the site, or b) get bored playing troll and leave the Qubists alone. So far, it doesn't look like that's happening.
Further evidence that the Net, like everything else in our society, is dividing into two warring camps: Us and Them. And regardless of which side of the divide you're on, Them are clearly nuts.
Are some Web 2.0 sites politically biased, and more important, do you care? Opine freely below or drop me a note.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on May 10, 2007 10:41 AM
May 09, 2007 | Comments: (0)
Microsoft and the age of insecurity
It seems like only yesterday that Bill Gates was touting Windows Vista as "dramatically more secure than any other operating system released" and claiming that security researchers would be lucky to find one Vista flaw in a month.
Yet, only yesterday, Microsoft released 19 critical patches, including six that dealt directly with holes inside IE7 running under Vista. Guess that pretty much covers the rest of the year.
In a way that huge patch release was good news -- and not just because it fixes a nasty DNS vulnerability that had a lot of IT guys quaking in their Keds. There was a time when Windows holes went unpatched for months, and fixes were issued seemingly at random. Not anymore.
And, as InfoWorld's band of intrepid geeks have shown, Vista does seem to be more secure (or, for you glass half-empty types, less insecure) than prior versions of Windows.
But don't get too comfortable. The other day I was talking to a security wonk who tracks zombie nets for a living. He says anti-virus apps and spyware scanners may do a decent job of stopping known threats but they suck hard at catching zero day exploits. He says you could run every major anti-malware package available and be fortunate to catch one out of four new nasties.
Two days ago I got an email titled "IE7 beta 2" that claimed to be from "Admin@Microsoft.com". Inside the spam was a graphic with a live link to an executable file on some obscure Asian domain -- a remote access Trojan called Virus.Win32.Grum.a. The black hat hackers simply take Microsoft's new focus on security and turn it to their advantage. Give them lemons, and they make lemon-flavored poison.
It's not just Microsoft or just the Internet -- insecurity abounds in every direction. The Transportation Security Administration recently fessed up to losing a hard drive containing the identities of more than 100,000 of its own employees, including their Social Security Numbers. Their solution? Free credit report alerts for TSA employees. Somehow I think they're missing the big picture. ("Hi, my name's Osama and I work for the TSA. Would you like to see my badge?")
Insecurity. Get used to it. Because it's going to be part of our lives from now on.
Are things really that bad or do I just need more coffee? Cough up your opinions below or send me a note. Top gossip and blog ideas may net you a new carry on bag.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on May 9, 2007 07:36 AM
May 08, 2007 | Comments: (0)
Hewlett Packard's corporate spy ring may have skated with a wrist slap (and a $14.5 million fine) from the California Attorney General's office, but HP isn't out of the woods yet. A troika of CNET reporters are suing the pugnacious pretexters to the tune of several million dollars, after the company hired PIs to illegally obtain their phone records and had them followed to uncover the sources for their news stories.
One private dick tailed CNET reporter Dawn Kawamoto and her young daughter while they vacationed at Disneyland. (No word on whether he dressed up as Mickey or Goofy.)
The reporters aren't looking for a big payday. Most of the money will go to charity and legal bills, according to a report in the New York Times.
I say more power to them. The more HP has to pay, the better (though I'd settle for some old fashioned tarring and feathering). Corporations have always tried to manipulate, intimidate, or control the media but this goes way beyond the pale.
Personally, the whole episode makes me feel much less paranoid. It explains the unmarked white van that's been parked down my street and those black helicopters hovering over my house late at night. Now the only question is whether they belong to the CIA or Microsoft.
Are you being followed? Share your paranoia with me here or post a comment below. Top tipsters will receive a bag to cover their heads when they leave the house.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on May 8, 2007 09:55 AM
May 07, 2007 | Comments: (0)
I've decided to go into the futurist business. It's where all the money is. And if you turn out to be wrong, there's a chance your clients will die before they find out. So I consulted The Oracle (no, not that Oracle), gazed into my Magic 8-Ball, and sifted through My Pet Goat's entrails. Here's what I saw:
... Google will split itself into two divisions, one good and one evil, who then will battle for Web domination. (I'm putting my money on evil -- they always have the cooler costumes
... Dell will go on a major enterprise acquisition spree. But instead of buying up companies they'll just purchase Larry Ellison. It's so much faster.
... Apple will announce the iShield, a portable force field that protects its owner from exterior threats -- like SEC investigations. Unfortunately it will only work for Steve Jobs.
... In an effort to halt the Googlization of everything, two major Web rivals (MSN and Yahoo? AOL and MySpace? Amazon and eBay?) will swallow hard and merge their operations. The process will look like a train wreck in slow motion. There will be no survivors.
... The White House will locate printouts of the 5 million emails it has misplaced -- stuffed inside mattresses at the DC Madam's digs. Investigators will be allowed to view a list of the messages, but reading them will cost $275 an hour with a 90-minute minimum.
Got your own visions of what the future will hold? Drop me a note or post them below. Top prognosticators may receive a special prize (and if you can really see the future, I won't need to tell you what it is).
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on May 7, 2007 03:00 AM
May 04, 2007 | Comments: (0)
If it ain't Barack, don't fix it
We've had some Obama Drama on the web this week. The Democratic contender's campaign has taken over Obama's MySpace page, which was created as a labor of love by Barack backer Joe Anthony in 2004 and grew to over 150,000 friends. After traffic to the site spiked in March, Anthony asked to be compensated for his time in managing all the friend requests. The campaign asked how much he wanted for the rights to the URL. When Anthony demanded $39K, the Obama-lamas pleaded poverty and asked MySpace to give them the URL. In an interview with MTV News, Anthony said: "After [asking] my consent [to turn over the page], they originally threatened to delete the profile, but they did say that they needed my consent for MySpace to take the profile from me. I said in clear language ... [that] MySpace does not have my consent to take this profile," Anthony explained on Wednesday. "And of course they did it, and that's why we're here. It's not about the money, it's not about anything else. They took this profile without my consent." (Ironically, in 1993 MTV.com wrested control of its domain from one-time VeeJay Adam Curry, who'd registered it and built a site back when the Web was purely a geek's playground.) There's a word for all this, and it starts with "cluster." (I can't fill in the second syllable -- this is after all a Family Blog.) In one short week the Obama-lamas have ticked off some of their biggest supporters in the blogosphere and made themselves look like idiots. Anthony doesn't come off too well either. Maybe $39,000 was a lot to ask; on the other hand, that works out to about a quarter per supporter -- and probably a week's pay for a top-notch political pollster. In the long run, though, this could end up costing Barack's campaign a whole lot more. Do you even care if a candidate has a page on MySpace? Let me know by posting comments below or dropping me an email. (And no, I won't charge you $39K to read them.)
Barack's MySpace page is now the "official" Obama page, not Anthony's. Anthony's old MySpace page, which no longer features much information about Barack but still claims 151,000 close personal friends, can be found here. Meanwhile, other Barack pages seem to be popping up all over MySpace. There's the United for Obama page (which has 4 friends and looks suspiciously like a scam) and the "Barack Obamaca" page, which boasts more than 20,000 friends, none of whom apparently know how to spell the man's name. My favorite is Barack Lobster, which features the candidate as crustacean and a soundtrack by the B-52's.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on May 4, 2007 03:00 AM
May 03, 2007 | Comments: (0)
It's a horror movie cliche: You think you've finally killed the monster, but while you're busy comforting the distressed damsel and wiping the gunk from your fingers, the beast rears up from the dead and attacks.
Of course, in this instance, I'm talking about iGoogle.
Years after we thought we'd vanquished the last of the cutesy small i/little e Internet names, Google resurrects it for its personalized home page service. (And yes, there's iVillage and the whole Apple naming convention, but for the most part it was dead. And now it's not.)
What does the little i stand for?
How about intolerant? Google is urging its shareholders to reject a proposal that calls for the search engine to stop censoring search results in countries like China.
Maybe incompetent. Google's vaunted geek cred suffered a serious blow recently, when a bug in the very same home page service lost several months' worth of customized settings for some of the Google faithful. (And after Google 'fixed' it, the bug came back and struck more users.)
Or possibly just 'in your face.' Last week Google overtook Microsoft to become the most popular -- or at least the most visited -- Web site in the world.
Listen, I like Google. I use iGoogle (though the name makes me, well, Cringe). But I think 2007 will be remembered as the year the G-men jumped the shark and lost their G-magic. It's all downhill from here.
Is this the beginning of the end for Google? Post your thoughts below or email them to me here.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on May 3, 2007 08:23 AM
May 02, 2007 | Comments: (0)
Say the phrase "Dell Hell" and images of exploding laptops, defective motherboards, and crappy customer support spring immediately to mind. But the truth is that for the last couple of years it's Dell itself that's been trapped in the fiery inferno.
During that time the Round Rock reprobates lost their standing as the number one PC maker, suffered through a series of public relations gaffes, were ravaged on the blogosphere for ignoring their customers, and are struggling to avoid being delisted by the NASDAQ.
But there are signs the Dellies are making a comeback -- and they're doing it by listening and responding to their customers. Last July, the company launched its Direct2Dell blog, which now boasts 3 million unique visitors a month, according to head blogger Lionel Menchaca. (The blog just launched a Spanish sister site earlier this week.) In February, the company launched IdeaStorm, where customers could tell new/old boss Michael Dell how to run his company.
The results are tangible. Thanks to IdeaStorm, Dell is now going to offer Ubuntu Linux on some of its desktops, and will extend the Windows XP window through the end of the year. On the blog, Menchaca recently announced exchange programs for users who've been underwhelmed with the perfomance of its XPS 700 motherboards and defective notebook LCDs. The company has also ventured out onto the wider Web, trying to identify unhappy customers (like the 300+ at Dellverticalline.com) and soothe their ruffled feathers. That's a vast improvement over Dell's online Forums, where posts from angry customers have often outnumbered those from Dell reps by more than 100 to 1.
Menchaca says a few thousand or more unhappy customers can exert an enormous influence on executive decision making. But he also notes that Dell has received an influx of great ideas from satisfied customers.
Case in point, the decision to offer Linux on the desktop. Menchaca says many people inside Dell were behind the move, but that the overwhelming support from IdeaStorm contributors helped to seal the deal. "We had some folks here who didn't believe Linux was that big an issue," he says. "We just pointed them to the activity [on IdeaStorm], and that stopped the conversation."
But Dell's not climbing out of the pit any time soon. Analyst Andrew Daily of MGI Research says high levels of defective parts are still making it onto Dell's assembly line -- and that's not going to change for the foreseeable future.
Dell's official response is a classic bit of PR speak:
Analyst research of this type is looking at historical performance rather than future performance, and Dell has made significant investments in both quality improvement and customer experience.
(OK everyone, sing along with me: "The sun will come out tomorrow, bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, there'll be sun.")
Daily does see Dell making a comeback in 2008 -- provided Michael Dell makes some bold Larry Ellison-like acquisitions. (Something Dell hinted at in the memo his PR team strategically leaked to the press last week.) But that's a tale for another time.
Is Dell on the rebound or going down down down? Give me your take here or post a comment below. Top tipsters will receive a bag suitable for stuffing with delisted Dell stock.
[Note: An earlier version of this post implied that XPS 700 motherboards were defective and that Dell's decision to offer Ubuntu was spurred by unhappy customers. According to Lionel Menchaca, those statements were inaccurate.]
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on May 2, 2007 07:53 AM
May 01, 2007 | Comments: (0)
So you made a killing selling those backdated stock options, and now you're looking for someone to help you spend all that dough? SeekingArrangements.com has the solution. It matches up Sugar Daddies and Sugar Mommas with Sugar Babies, who are more than happy to test the limits of your generosity.
For example, "Beautiful girl seeking special treatment" is a Vegas dancer who's looking for an extra $3K to $5K a month in mad money. What exactly she'll do to earn that money isn't specified. Still, the site's PR maven, Darren Shuster, insists this isn't what it looks like:
It's not pay me $5,000 to be your girlfriend. that's the misconception. a prostitute will take $100 from anybody, but sugar babies will not. they want more than money, they want travel, luxury, gifts, access to power, and, by the way, it may or may not involve sex. isn't that a big difference?
In other words, all the costs of a highly paid courtesan without necessarily any of the benefits. Purely a "fantasy service," just like the DC Madam.
Looking is free, but if you want to contact one of these cavity-inducing hotties it'll cost you a buck a day. But hey, you've got money to burn, right?
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on May 1, 2007 08:42 AM
April 30, 2007 | Comments: (0)
As the flame wars over last week's post about Windows and Linux continue to rage, I thought I'd toss more gasoline onto the blaze. This one is about Microsoft's incredibly flawed update process (which was invented, of course, to fix Microsoft's incredibly flawed software).
After frequent Cringe contributor D.S. installed Automatic Update KB934238, he discovered that his computer was phoning home to some IP address on the Verizon Business Network.
The reason why his computer felt the need to reach out and touch some Web server remains shrouded in mystery. But what's clear is that D.S. got off easy. Other Windows sufferers who installed the same update report that it killed their HP printer drivers. A few truly unfortunate victims on the Microsoft forums say it killed their computers outright:
Please help. I just installed KB934268 and KB934238, and after it was finished chose to restart my computer, but it won't boot up. It won't even recognize my monitor so I can't see anything.
What was this "critical update," exactly? The Microsoft Knowledge Base describes it thusly:
On non-English versions of Windows Server 2003 and Windows XP, some text in the print dialog box unexpectedly appears in English after you install the .NET Framework 3.0.
Ay Carumba! Another global disaster narrowly averted. The entire non-English speaking world must be incontinent with gratitude.
Memo to Microsoft: This is not a critical update. It's barely qualifies as an optional one. And yet users must jump through hoops to keep Update from automatically installing it. Yet another reason why Microsoft deserves all the bashing it gets, in this space and elsewhere.
FYI, If your computer has been hosed by this or any other security update, you can contact Microsoft tech support without having to pony up for the call: 1-866-PCSAFETY (727-2338). Tell 'em Cringe sent ya.
Has Windows Update hosed you or helped you? Post your opinions below or email them to me here. (Warning: asbestos boxers are recommended.)
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on April 30, 2007 08:56 AM
April 27, 2007 | Comments: (0)
And now for something completely silly
Can't work, can't sleep. My surly yet sagacious editor is all over me, wanting me to blog blog blog til my fingertips are bleeding and my brain feels like guacamole. But I can't, because I'm too busy playing with Google Trends.
Dial up the Trends engine on the Google Labs subsite, type in a search term or phrase, and you can see not only how often people searched for that term but also the cities where they live. Google uses searchers' IP addresses to extrapolate their location.
Did you know that the Tennessee/Kentucky border is the incontinence capital of the continent? When it comes to searches for "bedwetting," the good folks in Kingsport, TN, hold a nearly insurmountable lead over Portland, Minneapolis, and Salt Lake City.
Run a search on "bestiality" (or "beastiality") and an alarming number of Australian cities show up in the top 10. Kinda makes you wonder what they're doing down under.
Some results are obvious. Washington DC is the capital of "political corruption" (not that we needed Google to tell us that). Search for "Linux" and Bangalore, Chennai, and Mumbai, India, show up in the top 10.The phrase "Microsoft sucks" puts Seattle on top (disgruntled Redmonites, perhaps?), though Google only shows searches beginning in late January 2007. Something happened around that time, but I just can't seem to remember what it was.
Oddly, the phrase "Google Trends" is most popular in Tehran, Iran. (I feel a conspiracy theory coming on.) Surprisingly, the term "Cringely sucks" produces no results whatsoever, though I get a feeling that's about to change.
What does Google Trends tell you? Post your comments down yonder or drop me a line here. Top tipsters will receive a Cringely bag filled with Depends. (Offer good only for residents of Northern Tennessee.)
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on April 27, 2007 06:05 AM
April 25, 2007 | Comments: (0)
Is Microsoft's monopoly kaput?
In just a few short days our choices in desktop operating systems seem to have tripled. Not only has Dell agreed to distribute Linux on certain desktop models, but it's also given XP a new lease on life. Responding to user requests on its Ideastorm site, Dell has agreed to offer consumers the option to get XP and not Vista on select Dimension desktops and Inspiron notebooks -- at least until Microsoft sends XP off to the OS boneyard in January 2008.
Even Michael Dell is running Ubuntu Feisty Fawn on one of his home notebooks. (I'm not so sure about that name, though -- "Feisty Fawn" sounds a bit too much like Bambi on Viagra.) And, of course, Apple might lure a few more Windows converts when Leopard show its spots next fall.
Meanwhile, as Bill Gates and Nick Negroponte race to put Windows or Linux machines into the hands of the world's underprivileged children, faithful Cringesters weigh in on both sides of the debate. T.C. opines:
...How many years (decades) did industry beg for a standard/unifying operating system? We thought it would be Unix -- but. Some think it may be Linux (really Unix again). In the meantime, Gates steamrolls Windows into the market and we finally have the unified base. Not nearly perfect, but 90% of the world runs it. Now it's time to bash Microsoft over and over because they won? I have never been a big fan of Windows, but we will soon have had three generations of people using it. Which box would you give your kid to learn on if all were even? The hand cranked free PC running who knows what -- or Windows/Office? Tell you what. You give yours the freebie, mine gets Windows, and we see who gets a job first
Note to T.C. I don't bash Windows because it won. I bash Windows because it sucks. True, each new version sucks a teensy bit less -- even Vista is a small improvement over XP, compatibility issues aside -- but at this rate we're still looking at 30 more years of suck before Microsoft finally gets it right.
I also think the days where mastery of Windows gets you a job are long gone -- assuming they ever existed. (One of the few things Windows has done well is flatten the application learning curve.) Moving from a cheap Linux box to Windows isn't like moving from a Model T to an F16. The basic skills transfer easily.
On the other hand, if Linux gains a foothold in the world market such a transfer might not be necessary. J.H., a member of Linux International, sees a shining city on the hill, lit by the glow of open source software. As he eloquently puts it:
....one can hope that the people making the decisions in these countries will understand that it is not the cost of the school software that is the issue, it is really the choice they are creating now between software freedom and software slavery.
I see Linus Torvalds as Moses, holding Linux Tablet PCs in either hand, leading us into the promised land.
I've got a shrinkwrap copy of Ubuntu and a bottle of Scotch sitting on my desk, and it's a toss-up as to which I'll crack open first. Help me decide by dropping me a line or posting your comments below.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on April 25, 2007 08:17 AM
April 24, 2007 | Comments: (0)
Microsoft support: Shooting blanks
Cringester M.K. was having problems with Windows XP and Automatic Update, so he visited Microsoft's troubleshooting page, which featured a list of 55 common problems. He writes:
Now choose a problem, any problem, and see the solution.... Oldest trick in the book... Every answer is the same.... Nothing! A window appears with blank sections; Problem Description, Applicable Operating Systems And Products, Resolutions, then followed by the phrase "Your answer is anonymous and is used to help improve content on this site."I have an anonymous answer for them......
I tried it and got the same results -- even when using IE7. I guess Microsoft's philosophy is that no advice is better than bad advice.
Got hot tips or good advice for fellow Microsoft Sufferers? Send it to me here or post your comments below. Top tipsters may receive an old kit bag for packing all their troubles away.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on April 24, 2007 10:32 AM
April 23, 2007 | Comments: (0)
Excuse me, but you've just stepped in some DoubleGoo
Privacy watchdogs have thoroughly sniffed the Google-DoubleClick deal and they're barking up a storm about the potential for the abuse of your and my personal info. (A point also raised in this space last week.) A trio of organizations lead by the Electronic Privacy Information Center (EPIC) have asked the FTC to block the merger until GoogleClick/DoubleGoo can guarantee users' privacy.
DoubleClick says the information it collects via its ad network belongs entirely to its clients, so there's nothing to worry about. But the real gold lies in the clickstream -- the pattern that emerges as you hop from one site to the next on the DoubleClick ad network. Behavioral advertising companies use this information to display ads based on where you've been and what you've clicked on. Combine that clickstream data with all the other information Google has about your search history, blog entries, email, etc, and pretty soon Google knows more about you than your mother does.
What Google does with this information is one question. The bigger question is what other folks will be able to do with it once Google has collected it. Say, for example, an insurance company is looking for evidence that you're faking a claim, or a nasty divorce attorney is digging for dirt, or you have a government that's fiercely protective of its own privacy but doesn't give a damn about anyone else's. Without a way to anonymize this data, it could soon be raining subpoenas in Mountain View.
Cringesters who've emailed me are nearly unanimous in their wariness over the deal. K.M. writes:
I don't have anything Google on my computer any longer, nor do I use it for search any more. The deciding factor for me was the day I saw the "Do no evil" policy in action. I think it works like this: "If it's bad for Google it is evil, to hell with everyone else." I wouldn't let a government I like keep as much information about me as Google would keep.
Reader B.M. does a dead-on Mr. Bill impersonation:
Noooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The positive luster of Google has begun to fall! Upon conclusion of this sale I will begin to search for Google product replacements. I will not support DoubleClick.
Cringester J.G. wonders where DoubleClick ends and Google begins:
Purely as a Web surfer I have forever blocked every attempt DoubleClick makes to force feed cookies and fatten me up for a kill. At the same time I have used, and continue to use many of Google's features. Now with this do I block also Google, or do I hypocritize [sic] and use the one and block the other?
However, D.S. hopes Google's vaunted geek cred will improve matters:
If Google proves only to be no more evil with respect to DoubleClick-related activities than DoubleClick was as an independent, then one might at least expect improved response times when fetching Web pages that include DoubleClick links. ... I'd expect Google to apply its server might and distribution to improving this situation. One can hope, anyhow.
I think EPIC et al are right to pose the question. Now it's Google's turn to come up with a really good answer.
Got hot tips or strong opinions about Googleclick/DoubleGoo? Send me a discreet note here or post your comments below. Top tipsters will receive a confidential Cringe bag.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on April 23, 2007 05:12 AM
April 20, 2007 | Comments: (0)
Regular contributor M.K. has uncovered a disturbing bit of business regarding Google Calendar. Type "user" and "password" into the Calendar's search window, click the Search Public Events button, and voila -- you'll gain instant access to a couple hundred log ons for bank accounts, meet-up groups, singles cruises, domain renewals, applications to become secret shoppers at Starbucks, and a lot of church groups.
Do a little more clicking and you can get to everyone's Gmail address as well. Apparently these folks pasted emails containing their log-ons into their calendar events, then made the calendars public. (Google's default setting is to keep calendars private.) One-stop shopping for stalkers and identity thieves.
Moral of the story: If you use Google Calendar, best keep it to yourself.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on April 20, 2007 08:52 AM
April 19, 2007 | Comments: (0)
Apparently failure IS an option
Thousands of hollow-eyed Crackberry addicts have been seen roaming the streets, accosting strangers and asking to borrow their cell phones and laptops so they could please please please check their email. The reason? A systemwide server outage at Research in Motion that lasted from Taxday Tuesday evening through the middle of Woeful Wednesday. RIM has yet to explain exactly what caused the outage, though inside sources firmly deny that Karl Rove had anything to do with it.
That same Taxday, Intuit also reported service outages. Thousands of TurboTax e-Filers were unable to get their 1040s in on time because Intuit's servers were overwhelmed with traffic. (However, there is no truth to the rumor that Intuit chose that day to upgrade its modem bank from 28 to 56 kbps.) The IRS has given late TT filers two days' grace before siccing the hounds on them.
Finally, longtime writer/first-time reader R.L. reports that his AOL Phoneline account has been verklempt for more than three weeks. He writes:
If you call me, the voicemail system says something like "the caller is forwarding his messages...and oh, by the way, I just forgot the number you dialed. Can you enter it again?". Not exactly the way a voicemail system should work.... I figured out who the big cheeses were and their email addresses--namely Alex Quilici (Vice President Online Services/Voice Services), and Andy Spillane (Vice President, Product Development for Messaging and Social Media). I sent them a polite, but pointed note. That was on a Thursday; come Monday morning, I received a call from "Ted" (name changed to protect the guilty), who was a "tier 2" voice services dude. Clearly, my cri de Coeur had been heard! After a bit of back and forthing, he admitted that AOL had stupidly changed telephonic service providers (of some sort) and that now 1) 10 to 15% (!) of AOL voicemail users were down with this problem and 2) AOL still didn't have any idea--after 3 weeks of working on it--when the problem would be fixed, and 3) Hmmm. Maybe my grumping about canceling AOL's voicemail service wasn't such a bad idea.
FYI, R.L. has has had an AOL account longer than anybody except maybe Steve Case. Think maybe it's time to switch?
Have you been let down by high tech lately? Share your sorrows with me here or post comments below. Top tipsters may receive a handsome Cringe bag to help mitigate their misfortune.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on April 19, 2007 10:16 AM
April 19, 2007 | Comments: (0)
Yesterday's item about Dell and the Ford Flambe produced emails and comments from Cringesters suggesting that Thomas Forqueran blew up his own truck in an effort to squeeze money out of Dell. That dog won't hunt, and here's why.
If you'd seen any of the nearly three dozen emails he sent me, you'd know the man loved that truck more than some people love their children. It was a cherry condition 1966 Ford 250 -- not the kind of ride I'd choose, but a classic none the less. It had a name (Jenny) and a 40-year history dating back to his grandfather.
The thing blew up in the middle of the desert, hours from anything resembling civilization. (Personally, if I was going to stage an explosion, I'd do it within walking distance of a pub.) He's not looking for Dell to fund his retirement. All the man wants is for Dell to restore the truck and refund the money he dropped on his laptop.
This is from an email he sent me last July:
The most important fact to me (aside almost being killed, or being stranded for 8 hours in Arizona desert on short water supply, my fishing buddy suffered heat exhaustion) is that was "Grandpas truck." He bought it new and kept it that way. I inherited it and my sons fight over who gets it from me. I regularly cruised the "Route 66 runs" and always was complimented on "what a nice truck." A new Hummer wouldn't replace it.
Maybe the laptop didn't cause the blaze. Maybe somebody left a lit cigarette in the cab, or Wiley Coyote tossed a lit stick of dynamite at the Roadrunner and hit the truck instead. But if Forqueran is a con man I'll eat my hat, with a side dish of crow.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on April 19, 2007 07:05 AM
April 18, 2007 | Comments: (0)
Dell's reputation: Up in smoke?
Regular Cringe readers may recall several posts I've made about Thomas Forqueran, the 62-year-old hunter whose Dell laptop turned his grandfather's vintage 1966 F250 pickup into the smoldering heap you see here.
After seven months, Dell's investigators have finished their inspection of the truck and reached the following conclusion: The laptop was not the cause of the fire. Case closed, nothing to see here, please move along.
A Dell spokesperson couldn't tell me what did cause the fire, nor could he say anything else about Forqueran's case due to Dell's rules regarding customer confidentiality.
Forqueran, who says he saw flames shooting out of his Inspiron 1300 shortly before the fire reached the ammo stored in his glovebox (spraying bullets everywhere) and then the fuel tanks, is taking his case to the people. He's planning to tow the wrecked truck, complete with sign, to the Harley River Run along Route 66 in late April.
Dell offered to replace the laptop (Forqueran declined) and to reimburse him for the cost of a rental while his truck was being inspected. Forqueran says he has yet to see a check for the latter.
To be fair to Dell, Forqueran's laptop was not one of the 4.1 million notebooks recalled due to problems with flaming hot batteries. Judging by his emails, I am sure Forqueran was not the easiest customer to deal with. And if Dell buys one guy a truck, the next day there could be 1000 people on its doorstep, looking for trucks.
But it was an opportunity lost. Dell, which has been raked over the burning hot coals of the blogosphere (and the market) for poor customer service, had a chance to say "we're not sure what caused the blaze, but we're going to restore this guy's truck anyway, just because that's what kind of company we are." Dell had a chance to show itself as something more than a faceless multibillion corporation that doesn't seem to care about its customers.
Don't blame Dell's PR department. In my experience they've always been responsive, helpful, and honest. This attitude comes from above. It's the culture. And it starts at the top.
Forqueran's truck may look like a marshmallow that's been dropped into a campfire, but it's Dell reputation that's in flames.
Should Dell buy the guy a new truck, or should he just get over it and move on? Post a comment below or write to me here and let me know what you think.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on April 18, 2007 09:35 AM
April 17, 2007 | Comments: (0)
No, I'm not describing the scene backstage at a Justin Timberlake concert.
A Minnesota artist named Robert Delutri says he plans to auction off 4,444 "virgin" domain names in the .com, .net, and .org TLDs. He claims the domains are:
highly recognizable: new, virgin domain names that have never been published, parked or put up for sale, currently with private registration. These domains are not misspellings of well-known businesses or websites, and yet all are uniquely Key Word and AdSense sensitive, synergistic and searchable, incorporating a sculptural array of elements from ABC to Zen, Jesus to Sex and on and on ....All domains are relatively short, with most in the 4 to 9 letter range, many in the 10 to 14 letter range, and a few in the 15 to 20 letter range. There are no hyphenations or numbers used in any of these domain names.
Strangely, Delutri declines to offer any examples of the domains in his possession. (I guess they'd no longer be virgins after that.)
The auction is slated to begin on May 3, and the starting bid is $44,444.44
For that figure you also receive 444 hours of “Creative Transfer Consulting,” but Delutri says he will bill for travel more than 44 miles from his home.
I dunno. Sounds like maybe the DEA might want to have a peak at what Delutri is growing in his backyard. Four sure.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on April 17, 2007 03:09 PM
April 16, 2007 | Comments: (0)
Once again furniture is flying out the windows at the C-level suites in Redmond. This can mean only one thing: Google has just snaked DoubleClick out from under the talons of Microsoft, just like it did to Yahoo last year with YouTube. Further proof, if any were needed, that Google isn't a technology company that makes money from ads, it's an advertising company that uses technology to lure eyeballs.
This may be where the wheels come off G's famous "Don't be evil" train (assuming that Google's agreement to serve censored search results to China hasn't already permanently derailed it). There are two problems with a monopoly like the one GoogleClick threatens to become. One, as pointed out so ably by InfoWorld El Jefe Steve Fox, would be GC's ability to dictate pricing to publishers. The other would be its ability to converge vast quantities of data about individual users -- search histories, email, web trails, ad clicks, blogs, maps requested, videos viewed, the whole ball of wax -- into one tidy package bound only by a corporate privacy policy that could change at any time.
("In the event Google decides to become evil, the company will provide notice via this privacy policy. Please check back every 24 hours.")
In some ways, GoogleClick is still better than an ad network controlled by Microsoft, if only because Google seems to understand what consumers want in a way MS never will. ("Would you like to click through this advertisement now? Are you sure? Please wait while we verify that your software is compatible with our ad server.") But that situation won't last long. Look for a jilted Microsoft on the rebound, aggressively prowling the ad network bars looking to hook up. Perhaps with its Seattle neighbors aQuantive (Avenue A/Razorfish)?
Is GoogleClick/DoubleGoo a good thing or bad? Drop me a note or post your pithy thoughts below.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on April 16, 2007 07:39 AM
April 13, 2007 | Comments: (0)
Lost: 5 million+ White House e-mails?
It appears an untold number of e-mails to and from White House personnel have crashed and landed on an uncharted island in the South Pacific. Whether that's by accident or design, we don't know yet. But it's looking like Friday the 13th is going to be an unlucky day for somebody.
Here are the facts, as reported by our government.
* According to White House spokesperson Dana Perino, 22 employees of the executive branch currently use private e-mail accounts controlled by the Republican National Committee (and outsourced to Smartech, a hosting service in Chattanooga, Tennessee). Over the course of the current administration about 50 White Housers have used such accounts. An unknown number of these messages have gone missing.
* In testimony before Congress, Republican National Committee attorney Rob Kelner said the RNC began retaining all e-mail from White House personnel in August 2004. Before that, the RNC purged everything after 30 days. However, Kelner admitted some White Housers were able to delete mail from the servers up until a few weeks ago, though Karl Rove got his deletion privileges revoked some time in 2005.
* Meanwhile, watchdog group Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington (CREW) claims "five million" e-mail messages are missing from the official White House records.
Awfully slippery thing, e-mail. Especially when you use melted butter to lubricate the drive heads on your NAS boxes.
As faithful Cringesters well know, many big IT departments tie themselves into pretzels to ensure compliance with federal regulations regarding record retention and storage.
So I'm asking all the tech pros out there. If we were talking about a corporation here and not a branch of the federal government or a political party, what would happen?
Could high-ranking executives personally erase e-mails, in apparent violation of document retention policies, without consequences?
What kind of effort would it take to deliberately erase all traces of email from all servers, network storage devices, backup archives, and client machines so that no amount of computer forensics could recover them?
If somebody hired you to find these missing e-mails, where's the first place you'd look?
Got any spare e-mails from Karl Rove sitting on your hard drive? Post them below or send them to me here. Top tipsters will get a bag perfect for stashing secrets.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on April 13, 2007 12:26 PM
April 12, 2007 | Comments: (0)
It seems Microsoft really really really wants Cringester M.K.'s opinion. From 6 pm last Monday through 8 am on Tuesday, Microsoft and its survey vendor Ipsos sent him one request per hour to participate in an online survey. Each one began "We realize you receive many requests for surveys these days..." You think?
The email address the messages came from: "Satisfaction.with.Microsoft@satisfaction.Microsoft.com"
"Satisfaction with Microsoft." I think I feel a new oxymoron coming on.
(And no, the survey did not ask if he'd be more satisfied if Bill Gates or Steve Ballmer were shot into space. But it should have.)
Got more stupid vendor tricks? Send them to me here or post them below. You may qualify to receive a nifty Cringely bag.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on April 12, 2007 09:29 AM
April 11, 2007 | Comments: (0)
The geek shot round the world....
In honor of former Microsoft exec Charles Simonyi's ongoing vacation in space, our sister publication PC World is asking its readers which high-tech executive they'd like to see shot into space next. You can guess who's number one. Yes, it's Sir Bill, followed closely by Steve ("They call me Mister") Jobs. The real question, of course, is whether we're talking round trip or one way.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on April 11, 2007 04:33 PM
April 11, 2007 | Comments: (0)
This blog is nearly two weeks old. And during that time I've gotten lots of feedback about it (and InfoWorld's) shift from paper to packets, mostly from readers who are unhappy about the move. Like this note from longtime reader K.H.:
I was disappointed, angered, and totally disgusted by your decision to stop printing your publication....I DO NOT enjoy (more like HATE) trying to read lengthy articles sitting at my computer. I already spend WAY TOO much time sitting in front of its glaring screen. ... What about reading it while sitting waiting for a flight to another contract in another God-forsaken city, or "squished" into another horribly uncomfortable aircraft seat.
Methinks KH has spent a bit too much time flying JetBlue.
B.D. writes:
Your publication and others are most often found in the waiting room of offices, read in hard copy by persons waiting to attend a meeting. There are many publications I only read at my dentist’s or chiropractor’s office. There is a large audience you will miss with this move...
I was always under the impression I made some readers ill. Turns out they were sick before they started. That's a relief.
D.B. notes, accurately if perhaps a bit pungently:
It is tough to take a blog to the head with you. I may be old school, but if I needed some extra paper when the 'job' was finished, I could always rip a page out of the magazine – a laptop screen doesn’t have the same flexibility.
Thus giving a whole new meaning to the phrase "on the job training." Thanks for sharing (not).
Meanwhile, the lovely and charming C.C. had this to say:
Your "Notes from the Field" is one of the most bright, charming, hilarious ... and informative articles I read. I have so enjoyed your prose, and the odd jab at the amoral, indifferent, and indecent in business. ... I will miss your commentary!
Darlin', how can you miss me if I haven't gone?
From my perspective, blogging is better. (Though I can't say I'm a huge fan of Movable Type, InfoWorld's blogging software.) Snark doesn't age well, and the immediacy of the online world means I can jump on a story while it's still fresh. I'm no longer limited to half a page in a magazine, which allows me to quote from reader and vendor emails without having to boil everything down to a pithy sentence, as well as jabber back and forth with them in the comments field. When I get things wrong (yes, it happens) I can correct it almost instantly.
But blogging is also more work; there's no end to the things I can write about or the stuff readers will comment on. (Note to self: Must renegotiate fee with feisty-yet-frugal editor.)
Anybody out there prefer the blog to the 'book', or vice versa? Let me know by posting a comment or sending me a note. Top tipsters may receive a Cringely bag composed of 100 percent genuine molecules.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on April 11, 2007 03:00 AM
April 10, 2007 | Comments: (0)
Eagle-eyed reader D.M. points out something I missed entirely in yesterday's screed about Windows Vista and FUD.
Did you happen to notice that the MS Vista Footnotes webpage you provided today lacks certain bulleted letters? Namely, the letters E, F, H, J, K, L, Q, R, T are missing. Maybe they are busy hosting an episode of Sesame Street? So, does this qualify as less doubt? Or more? ....Presumably, W, X, Y, and Z just haven't been needed so far...
Damned if he isn't spot on. What happened to the missing letters? Are these the terrible secrets Microsoft just can't bear to reveal?
I love a good mystery. But rather than remain in the dark, I think the residents of Cringeville should compose their own footnotes to Vista. Like this:
E. Windows Vista users may experience an overwhelming desire to beat key Microsoft executives about the head and shoulders with a sockful of manure. This may require additional hardware.
Got more footnotes for Microsoft? Post them below or email them to me here. Top tipsters may qualify for a Cringely swag bag[X].
X. All bag features may not be available to all Cringe readers. Additional tipping may be required.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on April 10, 2007 06:00 AM
April 09, 2007 | Comments: (0)
So a class of disgruntled Vista users are suing Microsoft, claiming it engaged in deceptive marketing practices while touting its new OS.
I dunno. Suing Microsoft for deceptive marketing is like suing Paris Hilton for being blonde. It's in their DNA, they can't help it. Since DOS 1.0 Microsoft has been widely accused of spreading fear, uncertainty, and doubt throughout the industry. The interesting thing is that, with Vista, they've managed to spread FUD for one of their own products. Way to go, Bill-co!
Quick, how many versions of Vista are there and what do they cost? Answer: At least 5 (not including the 32- and 64-bit variations), all with separate retail, upgrade, and/or volume pricing schemes. So should you order the 32-bit Ultimate Vista with cheese or the 64-bit Enterprise Vista Happy Meal? And do you want fries with that?
There's your uncertainty.
In columns past I've written about Cringesters who bought brand new "Vista ready" machines from major vendors, only to find out that "ready" actually meant "as soon as we get our hands on some new drivers and a service pack or two." Graphics cards, sound cards, and RAID drives are three areas where Vista systems haven't been ready, sticker or no sticker.
Even if your brand new system ships with the Premium or Ultimate versions and appears to hit all the key specs, you may not get all the Premium or Ultimate features (like the groovy Aero interface) cuz your hardware just ain't up to the job. (I know this, because I just bought one.) You'll have to dig deep into the footnotes on Microsoft's Vista site to find that little nugget.
I think that qualifies as doubt.
The fear factor is that you'll be missing out on "the most secure Windows ever" or that mysterious "wow" Microsoft keeps talking about. Not that it matters much. In a few months you won't be able to order a PC with XP on it anymore.
From Microsoft's perspective, the fear is whether Vista -- a minor upgrade that's cause major problems for some users -- will be remembered as the beginning of the fall of the Redmond Empire. I doubt Ballmer et al. are worried about that, but maybe they should be.
I may be strictly virtual these days, but I'm still in the business of gathering gossip and giving out free "I Spy 4 Cringe" bags to my top tipsters. You can deliver the dirt here.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on April 9, 2007 03:00 AM
April 07, 2007 | Comments: (0)
I just need my space right now
Former Microsoft executive Charles Simonyi and two Russian cosmonauts blasted into orbit Saturday on a 15-day, 14-night space vacation that cost Simonyi just $25 million (at that price, however, he will have to endure a timeshare pitch for the International Space Station). Simonyi, considered the father of Microsoft's Office Suite, carried with him a gourmet meal prepared for him by Martha Stewart, who is rumored to be his girlfriend. It seems some guys will go to extreme lengths just to get away from Martha for a few weeks.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on April 7, 2007 01:57 PM
April 04, 2007 | Comments: (0)
Regular Cringe correspondent K.U. writes in about a recent out-of-Business Objects experience (or OOBO) upgrading Crystal Reports for Microsoft Visual Studio 2005. I quote:
I ordered a Crystal Reports upgrade for MS Visual Studio 2005 from Business Objects. The package arrived with all the documentation wet and the CD case crushed - I assume the Fedex driver was a Business Objects customer and put the package in a puddle and ran it over to kill all the bugs.Upgrade installed, I checked the BO website for updates. One service pack and one hot-fix later I discovered my upgrade was actually for earlier versions of Visual Studio and I needed a 1.4 GB Release 2 download for VS2005 compatibility. With Release 2 finally on board I find and install R2 SP1, only to discover that in the interim there was now an R2 SP2 which is inaccessible with my BO account and password. Holy best-before-date, Batman. Out of the package to obsolete in under 24 hours! I can hardly wait to see wht it will do under Vista.
Update: I heard back from K.U. a little while later. He said he got hold of his BO sales agent, who sent him new media and directed him to a different site that didn't require a log in. So there's a happy ending after all. (Though I do think the acronym B.O. is reason enough for Business Objects to pick a new name.)
Have you endured a surreal upgrade experience at the hands of Microsoft or some other vendor from hell? Drop me a note here or post a comment below. The best tipsters may find themselves one swag bag richer.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on April 4, 2007 03:24 PM
April 04, 2007 | Comments: (0)
Free at last, free at last ...
Finally, four years after Apple iTunes opened for business, one of the four major record companies has agreed to drop digital rights management and allow unfettered MP3s to be sold online. Good golly Miss Molly.
Everybody gets something out of the Apple EMI deal. The record company gets relief from the 99 pennies per ditty pricing Apple has imposed on singles, something the industry has been whining about for years. Non-FairPlay files will cost 30 cents more than their locked-down cousins. (Thus revealing the true cost of P2P file swapping -- just a smidge less than the $750 per song the RIAA has been claiming in its lawsuits.)
Consumers get to play tunes on something other than an iPod, as well as higher quality sound for their home stereos. Apple gets to play the knight in shining white satin, but more important, it gets a wedge against European Commission complaints about its monopolistic tendencies (though the EC's still all shook up about iTunes' arcane country-by-country pricing schemes).
But don't be fooled. This isn't about freeing up iPod owners. It's about smoothing the waters for the iPhone, especially overseas, where the cell phone market is bigger and more sophisticated than Back in the USA. No DRM means fewer EU objections and, possibly, more consumer enthusiasm for dropping $600 on a phone instead of $300 on a pod.
Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose. I think I heard that somewhere.
Got heavy metal tips or grungy gossip? Talk to me, baby. The top tipsters will receive a free "I Spy 4 Cringe" bag.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on April 4, 2007 09:30 AM
April 03, 2007 | Comments: (0)
A traveling Cringster who asked to remain nameless was seeking the fastest route from Toronto, Canada, to London, England, so naturally he consulted Google Maps, which told him it would take only 29 days and 15 hours. I understand that 5,572 kilometer swim in the middle isn't so bad if you've got an Evinrude strapped to your Speedo.
For reasons known only to those in Googleland, G-Maps will happily serve up across-the-pond directions between the UK and USA [and Canada too -- sorry], but no other pan-Atlantic destinations. If there's anybody out there who can tell me why, please post the answer here or drop me an email.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on April 3, 2007 08:00 AM
April 02, 2007 | Comments: (0)
One of Cringeville's favorite mustachioed villains, the Recording Industry Association of America, has developed yet another dastardly plan. The RIAA has set up a web site and a hotline offering alleged file swappers a special discount on lawsuit settlements if they give up without a fight. ("For a limited time only, $1000 off each extortion attempt -- operators are standing by!")
Of course, large numbers of the RIAA's 18,000+ suits have been filed against John Does, because all the record companies really have is a list of files it found on someone's hard drive and an IP address. So it has spent the the last three years strong-arming ISPs and college administrators into revealing who's using those addresses (assuming the IPs are static and not dynamic). The University of Nebraska recently told them to stick that request where the sun don't shine. (Cornhuskers 1, Korn hustlers 0).
Even with an IP address and a name, there's no real way to determine whose fingers were on the keyboard when "Rock Yo Hips" got downloaded. So, like any playground bully, the RIAA preys on the weak -- college students, grandmothers, 12 year olds, corpses -- people who are more likely to roll over and pay up than to fight back. (Or if they're dead, just roll over.) A number of those sued are now fighting back; in some cases the RIAA has dropped the charges rather than risk a public defeat.
I've figured out the RIAA's real goal. It's tired of being only #2 on the Dilbert Awards list of "weaseliest organizations." . They want to be Number One. They've certainly earned my vote.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on April 2, 2007 10:31 AM
April 02, 2007 | Comments: (0)
It turns out all those rumors about the Google Phone were off by one consonant. The much-anticipated G-phone is actually an LG-Phone. Rather than build its own handsets (molecules -- how 20th century) the Googletarians are teaming up with Korean electronics giant LG to introduce a handset featuring Google Search, Maps, Gmail, Blogger, and ads (of course) sometime in the second quarter. Meanwhile, the Apple iPhone now has a date with destiny: June 11. Gadget freaks and Apple geeks are expected to converge on Cupertino on that day, wearing black turtlenecks and bearing old Motorola Rokr phones as sacrificial offerings.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on April 2, 2007 07:22 AM
March 30, 2007 | Comments: (0)
The Wall Street Journal said it, so it must be true. Microsoft is apparently mulling plans to buy DoubleClick. I don't know about you, but the idea of the Redmond Reprobates delivering ads across the Net sends a chill down my spine. Will a company with a storied history of using its monopoly power to crush competitors now deliver those competitors' advertisements? ("Honey, what's a 404 error and why am I seeing ads for one?") Neither company is known for its reverent attitude toward consumer privacy, and as Web ads hone in on user behavior and purchase patterns that can't be good. It certainly seems like a marriage made in Hades. Which is why it will probably happen.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on March 30, 2007 11:19 AM
March 30, 2007 | Comments: (0)
It's the digital equivalent of kissing babies and shaking hands; candidates for national office now have to prove they're "down with the kids" by having their own YouTube clips and MySpace pages. It's also true that most if not all are completely clueless about technology. So it's not terribly surprising that Senator John McCain's MySpace page got hacked earlier this week. It was a clever, gentle hack: for a brief but memorable period the presidential hopeful came out in favor of gay marriage (but only of the "Susan Sarandon meets Catherine Deneuve in The Hunger" variety). McCain's handlers quickly wiped the page, but not before it and the hack were captured for posterity. Now that's one platform I can get behind.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on March 30, 2007 07:39 AM
March 30, 2007 | Comments: (0)
Greetings from the land of ink-stained wretches. After much arm twisting, cajoling, pleading, and whining, I've finally convinced my editor to let loose the reins and give me my own blog here on Infoworld.com. The world may never be the same.
Note: This may be the only blog entry I write that doesn't take a swipe at Microsoft. That's just fair warning to all those Microsoft/Waggener Edstrom PR folks who like to compile 6,000 word dossiers on journos like me (and then email them to the journos in question).
Oops, I guess I just did take a swipe at MS. My bad.
As always, I welcome your comments, criticisms, tips, rumors, and idle gossip. The email address remains the same: cringe@infoworld.com.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on March 30, 2007 05:34 AM