- Geek Week: Facebook settles, Yahoo fiddles
- Uncle Spy Wants You
- Bloggers to AP: I got your feed right here
- Geek Week: Broadcom hits skids, Comcast throttles bits
- Geek Week: Another Google exec fled; librarian defeats Feds
- Geek Week: Microsoft prepares for war, BEA is no more
- Geek Week in Review
- Look before you leak
- Geek Week in Review
- Geek Week in Review II
June 27, 2008 | Comments: (0)
Geek Week: Facebook settles, Yahoo fiddles
Case closed. A judge in the Facebook code theft case said F-U to ConnectU yesterday, telling the plaintiffs that they made their settlement with Zuckerberg and now they have to lie in it. The Winklevosses are now free to row in the Olympics, while plucky Zucky cements his reputation in the pantheon of high tech d**ks. When spoiled rich kids sue each other for gazillions of dollars, it's really hard to develop a rooting interest.
Another bunch of Yahoos. In its second or third major shake up since the Peanut Butter Manifesto, Yahoo is reorganizing itself again, booting its top sales honcho and splitting into three divisions. It's also adding a cloud computing group in an effort to take on Amazon and Google in the server farm market. That's got to inspire confidence in its shareholders (not). Memo to Carl Icahn: You sure you want this company?
Going down, down under. Anyone ever told you to just 'get a life''? Well now you can, and for less than $400K. Ian Usher of Perth, Australia, is auctioning off his entire life -- including a 3-bedroom home and everything inside it, a Kawasaki motor bike, a car, a jet ski, his job and his friends. Bidding was up to AU$400K as I write this, and yes he is serious. Usher plans to take the cash, his wallet, and his passport and catch the next train to nowhere. It's the mother of all mid-life crises, but probably not as uncommon as it sounds. Admit it. Haven't you been just a little tempted to do something similar? Now's your chance to do it by moving to Perth. There's about a day left on the auction, so you still have time to call your banker.
Got hot tips or lives you want to auction? Post them below or email me here: cringe (at) infoworld (dot) com. Swell swag awaits those whose tips make it into this blog. (But we're not shipping it to Perth, if you're planning to win that auction.)
Think you've got the right stuff to pass our tech quizzes? They're not as easy as they look:
• The InfoWorld News Quiz
• Test Your Geek IQ
• Test Your Network Security IQ
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on June 27, 2008 07:05 AM
June 23, 2008 | Comments: (0)
Last week the House of Representatives passed a "compromise" amendment to the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, though it sounds like the only things that have been compromised are our Constitutional rights. Now the Senate is poised to do the same.
Unfortunately, the FISA Amendments Act of 2008 adds little to existing FISA laws save for one very big thing: immunity for telecoms that violated FISA laws on orders from the White House. Essentially, all Ma Bell and her bastard offspring need to do is present a note that says Uncle Sam made them do it, and the 40-odd lawsuits pending against them vanish.
This rewards companies like AT&T and Verizon that failed to stand up to orders of questionable legality, while punishing companies like Qwest who declined the government's requests. Imagine the cojones it took to say no to the NSA. What are the odds anyone's likely to do that again?
Remember, three Bush appointees -- attorney general John Ashcroft, deputy AG James Comey, and FBI head Robert Mueller -- threatened to resign over this program. So this is clearly not a matter of the NSA forgetting to pick up a few subpoenas on the way home from the grocery store. This was something no one had seen before.
But what exactly was it? The worst thing about the immunity provision is that it closes the door on discovery. We will likely never find out what information the NSA sought, what it found, and what that data was used for. That's a problem.
It's very likely the spooks were involved in a massive data mining operation that involved data from millions of innocent non-terrorist law-abiding Americans. Think I'm being paranoid? Here's what USA Today revealed in May 2006:
The National Security Agency has been secretly collecting the phone call records of tens of millions of Americans, using data provided by AT&T, Verizon and BellSouth, people with direct knowledge of the arrangement told USA TODAY.
The NSA program reaches into homes and businesses across the nation by amassing information about the calls of ordinary Americans — most of whom aren't suspected of any crime. This program does not involve the NSA listening to or recording conversations. But the spy agency is using the data to analyze calling patterns in an effort to detect terrorist activity, sources said in separate interviews.
In other words, they're attempting to create a profile of terrorists, and the only way to do that is to profile a whole lot of non terrorists. And if they happen to catch anyone doing anything else borderline illegal along the way, they can pick and choose whom they want to prosecute. Why should China and Russia have all the fun?
I'm all for hunting down and ferreting out the bad guys, but I draw the line at spying on ordinary Americans. I'm happy to stand in line at the airport or the baseball stadium and have them look through my bags, even though I know it's mostly Security Theater. My phone calls, emails, and Web surfing are another story. If I'm a suspect and you've got a warrant, fine, spy on me. Otherwise, I'd like to be left alone. Is that unreasonable?
Should the telecoms get off scot-free? Post your thoughts below or email me directly: cringe (at) infoworld (dot) com. And try not to say anything too unAmerican -- you know who is probably watching.
Think you've got the right stuff to pass our tech quizzes? They're not as easy as they look:
• The InfoWorld News Quiz
• Test Your Geek IQ
• Test Your Network Security IQ
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on June 23, 2008 09:10 AM
June 18, 2008 | Comments: (0)
Bloggers to AP: I got your feed right here
Those darned bloggers. They just keep messing everything up. Now it's the news industry that's unhappy with them.
To quote MSNBC's Helen A. S. Popkin,
The Associated Press took a grandiose Facebook-style faceplant last week when it attempted to impose strict guidelines on the blogosphere.
(Facebook style faceplant - FBSFP. I think Helen just coined a new Net anagram. Nice work, HASP.)
Now if that were an Associated Press story, I might be getting sued right now. Because last week the AP declared all of its content, even one-sentence snippets, off limits to bloggers. Every comma, every semi colon, every quote mark inside an AP story is covered by their copyright. This policy came to light after the venerable news organization sent a nastygram to The Drudge Retort (not to be confused with The Drudge Report) for excerpting several AP articles.
Needless to say, that didn't sit too well with the bloggerati. The ever excitable Michael Arrington virtually burst a blood vessel in response:
The A.P. doesn’t get to make it's [sic] own rules around how its content is used, if those rules are stricter than the law allows.... So here's our new policy on A.P. stories: they don't exist. We don't see them, we don't quote them, we don't link to them. They're banned until they abandon this new strategy, and I encourage others to do the same until they back down from these ridiculous attempts to stop the spread of information around the Internet.
After getting roundly spanked, the AP backpedaled slightly. They've agreed to meet with Robert Cox, president of the Media Bloggers Association, to hash out details of a truce. (And forgive my ignorance, but has anyone out there ever heard of the Media Bloggers Association? Can anyone join? Do they have jackets? Inquiring minds want to know.)
The problem is we're looking at yet another business model that gets imploded by the Net. The AP charges news outlets for access to its wire service, which allows even tiny regional newspapers to cover global stories without having to pay salaries to reporters in distant cities (not to mention their bar bills). But in the blogosphere, all you need is one outlet reporting one AP story and it spreads like kudzu -- no need to pay for that pricey wire service.
Worse for AP, bloggers who link to the original story are usually linking to one of AP's customers or a news aggregator like Yahoo. Those sites get the Net traffic, not AP.
To be fair to my brethren in the mainstream media, much of the blogosphere could not exist without sources like the AP. There's precious little original journalism in blogs; 99% of bloggers are repeaters, not reporters.
Though there are a handful of stories that started in the blogosphere and became national news (remember White House boy toy turned pool reporter Jeff Gannon, or the font faux pas that led to Dan Rather's fall?) But they're dwarfed by the number of stories that merely pick up someone else's reporting, and more often than not get it wrong.
I can't count the number of times I've chased down a story on the Net and discovered that what got reported in the blogosphere bore only a vague resemblance to the actual facts.
So the press and the blogs need each other. Blogs need people who know how to do reporting; the AP needs the kind of viral distribution only the blogosphere can bring. We need to figure out a way we can all get along here, lest we all perish in the copyright wars.
What's your favorite Blog-driven story? Post your nominees below or email them to me here: cringe (at) infoworld (dot) com. Top suggestions qualify for cool swag.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on June 18, 2008 03:00 AM
June 06, 2008 | Comments: (0)
Geek Week: Broadcom hits skids, Comcast throttles bits
Boozes, babes, and Broadcom. Here's more proof that I got into the wrong end of this business. Ex-Broadcom CEO Henry Nicholas-- already nailed for stock options shenanigans that added a fictional $2.2 billion worth of revenue to his company's bottom line -- has received a second subpoena detailing much more exciting corporate activities.
Per The Register:
A second indictment unsealed this morning charges Nicholas with maintaining and distributing drugs from his various homes, supplying hired prostitutes with controlled substances, spiking customer and employee drinks with ecstasy, and other surprising drug-related charges.... One incident alleges Nicholas and others smoked so much marijuana during a flight on his private plane between Orange County and Las Vegas that the pilot had to put on an oxygen mask.
I think I was on that flight. I remember something about the attendant saying "in the case of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, a bong will descend from the overhead panel and you will be instructed to partake deeply of this fine Mexican Red." I don't remember much else.
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a throttled monopoly. The days of all-you-can-eat broadband are rapidly drawing to a close, so belly up to the bit bar while you still can, boys. Time Warner is testing metered broadband service in Texas; exceed your allotted maximum, and TW will ding you a dollar per gig. Now the New York Times reports Comcast is testing out schemes for throttling bandwidth hogs in Pennsylvania and Virginia. So instead of just surreptitiously throttling Bit Torrent users, they're planning to slow down anyone who uses too much bandwidth. And how much is "too much," exactly? Per the Times:
For now, these restrictions are just as mysterious as the secret blocking of BitTorrent. The company won’t say how much usage will be required to have your connection impaired or how much slower it will get.
Here's the $49.95 a month question: The next time your Net connection slows to a crawl, does it mean you're being throttled, or merely that your local cable ISP is oversubscribed and underdeployed? Is this really just another scheme to charge more money for increasingly crappier service?
Got bandwidth throttling stories or extra ecstasy? Post your thoughts and directions to your secret stash below, or email me here - cringe (at) infoworld (dot) com. Sweet swag awaits top tipsters.
Think you've got the right stuff to pass our tech quizzes? They're not as easy as they look:
• The InfoWorld News Quiz
• Test Your Geek IQ
• Test Your Network Security IQ
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on June 6, 2008 08:57 AM
May 09, 2008 | Comments: (0)
Geek Week: Another Google exec fled; librarian defeats Feds
Going, going -- Google. The hejira from Google continues, as head Google spin doctor Elliot Schrage has taken a position with – who else? -- Facebook. Schrage is the sixth top-shelf G-exec to fly the coop to Facebook over the last year. (Though the defection that hurt most was probably that of Google chef Josef Desimone). Google's response: Feh – we got plenty more where they came from. (Methinks they're probably a little more worried than that.) However, there is no truth to the rumor that Santa Clara County officials are considering a new shuttle service to transport former employees from the Googleplex in Mountain View to their new Facebook Space in Palo Alto.
Peabody and Sherman? Confidential informants. For the last year, the Internet Archive (better known as The Wayback Machine) has been under the all-too-watchful eye of our Uncle, thanks to a National Security Letter it received demanding information on one of its registered users. Exactly what information it was demanding or identity of the target is a secret, as was the existence of the letter to everyone but its recipient (and, of course, the Feds). But Brewster Kahle, the keeper of the archive and not one to just bend over and take it, challenged the NSL in court. Last week, with the help of the ACLU and the Electronic Frontier Foundation, he won; the FBI withdrew the letter, allowing its existence to be revealed (but nothing else).
NSLs essentially allow investigators to pry into every aspect of your life – all business records, ISP logs, friends, associates – without a court order and without your knowledge. An estimated 200,000 NSLs were issued between 2003 and 2006; three have been challenged, all successfully. What happened to the other 199,997 is anyone's guess. But what in Gates' name did the FBI think they could find out by looking at someone's Internet Archive searches? Terrorists with a fascination for outdated Web pages?
Got hot tips or NSLs asking about me? Post them below or email me direct: cringe (at) infoworld (dot) com. Top tipsters qualify for secret swag.
Think you've got the right stuff to pass our tech quizzes? They're not as easy as they look:
• The InfoWorld News Quiz
• Test Your Geek IQ
• Test Your Network Security IQ
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on May 9, 2008 08:21 AM
May 02, 2008 | Comments: (0)
Geek Week: Microsoft prepares for war, BEA is no more
One ring to rule them all. Remember that scene in The Lord of the Rings where Sauron has all the Orcs busy sharpening tools and digging up Goblins in preparation for the huge battle to decide the fate of man- elf- and dwarf-kind? That's apparently what Microsoft has been doing all week, contemplating just how medieval it's going to get on Yahoo's assets. According to reports in the Wall Street Journal (Microsoft's preferred outlet for unofficial leaks), the MS board has been meeting all week to decide whether to up the bid, go hostile or walk away. As if Ballmer would ever admit defeat. No, I predict a surge of Orcs, Goblins, and other nasties will start to make their way south from Redmond late today, after the markets close. Will Jerry Yang be Frodo? Will Google turn into Gandalf and save the day? Stay tuned.
I'll BEA seeing you. Employees of BEA held an informal 'wake' at a Silicon Valley restaurant earlier this week to mourn the passing of their company into the intestinal tract of Oracle, the corporate equivalent of Monty Python's Mr. Creosote ("just one more bite, it's wahfer theen") [video]. The wake featured a makeshift coffin in one part of the room. Efforts to get Larry Ellison to occupy the seat of honor -- inside the coffin --proved unsuccessful.
Check, please. A 21-year-old would-be music biz impresario in Fort Worth was arrested earlier this week after trying to cash a Texas-sized check for $360 billion. According to The Register, Charles Ray Fuller of "Fulla Comp and Entertainment" tried to pass a bogus check allegedly signed by his girlfriend's mother; Fuller must have heard something about the mother being well endowed and took it the wrong way. His next likely move? Post bond for $3750 and, since this is Texas, run for public office.
Got hot tips or multi-billion dollar checks? Post them below or email me: cringe (at) infoworld (dot) com. Super swag awaits top tipsters.
Think you've got the right stuff to pass our tech quizzes? They're not as easy as they look:
• The InfoWorld News Quiz
• Test Your Geek IQ
• Test Your Network Security IQ
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on May 2, 2008 08:32 AM
February 22, 2008 | Comments: (0)
Ignorance is truth. If George Orwell were alive today and working as a marketing wonk, he'd probably have a job at Microsoft. Case in point: MS's Aussie division is offering $15,000 in prizes to OEM channel partners who can dispel certain "misperceptions" about Windows Vista. To qualify for the grand prize you merely need to correctly answer a few "fact or fiction" questions. For example, "Windows Vista faces significant compatibility issues with hardware devices." Answer "Fiction," and you move on to the next question. Answer "Fact" and the quiz gives you another chance to answer it correctly (and another, and another, and so on...), gently providing you with the "facts" to use in altering your perceptions.
It's impossible to complete the quiz without getting a perfect score – isn't that fabulous? Other questions deal with software compatibility, reliability, popularity with business users, security improvements, and the like -- proving that Microsoft truly does understand what's wrong with Vista, they just refuse to acknowledge it. Wouldn't it just be easier and less painful to strap on the rat cage and be done?
The Spy who launched me. It seems the Navy managed to knock that misbehaving spy satellite out of the skies on its first try. Good show, mates. The cost of the take down: between $30 million and $60 million. The cost of the program from whence the broken satellite came? Upward of $10 billion, according to Wired. Even then, parts out of some spy satellites were made from tin, which deforms in space. Guess they must have run out of Saran Wrap and empty paper towel tubes.
Please hold still while we Google your colon. It seems there is no place where Google fears to tread. Now the search behemoth is experimenting with storing medical records, starting with a Cleveland medical clinic. (In this instance it's actually behind Microsoft, which launched its HealthVault service last fall.) Letting Google and MS play doctor with my PC is bad enough, but doing it to my actual body is just a bit beyond the pale. What's next, ads for Preparation H next to the results from my proctology exams?
Got hot tips or more Vista "facts"? Post them below or e-mail me here. Top tipsters qualify for fabulous prizes.
Think you've got the right stuff to pass our tech quizzes? They're not as easy as they look:
• The InfoWorld News Quiz
• Test Your Geek IQ
• Test Your Network Security IQ
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on February 22, 2008 07:58 AM
February 20, 2008 | Comments: (0)
I bet you thought people banked in the Cayman Islands because they serve fruity cocktails with tiny parasols in them while you're waiting for your checks to clear. Well, you're only partly right. The other reason people keep accounts in the Caymans is to avoid paying taxes and/or to launder their ill-gotten gains.
For many of us this is not news -- or at least it wouldn't be, if not for the brain-dead actions of one such bank and the magistrate they duped into being their monkey.
Swiss Bank Julius Baer used its legal muscle to convince a U.S. judge to close down the WikiLeaks.org domain, because the site contains documents that allegedly show Baer is exchanging its clients' dirty old dineros for fresh clean ones with just a hint of mint.
Some background: WikiLeaks.org exists so anonymous whistle blowers around the globe can document human rights offenses, corporate malfeasance, nuclear accidents, and the like. The world gets to see what nasty things those in power have been up to, while the leakers get to live their lives without being waterboarded (or worse).
Because WikiLeaks operates anonymously across several jurisdictions, Julius Baer couldn't figure out how to sue the site directly for copyright infringement. So last Friday the bank found a friendly judge, who ordered the site's California hosting company (Dynadot) to turn off the WikiLeaks.org domain. According to Wired News, WikiLeaks was only notified of the hearing by e-mail a few hours before it was scheduled to happen, and didn't have time to muster its squad of pro bono attorneys.
Personally, I don't think Baer was overly concerned the world would know its Cayman branch (allegedly) exists to launder money and avoid taxes. I think the bank didn't want its rich, extremely powerful, allegedly money laundering/tax evading clientele to be exposed. Bad for business, you know.
But the bank's solution is so mind-bogglingly stupid, you have to wonder if these guys need help getting their pants on each morning.
First, this is exactly the kind of story bloggers and Net-centric journos crave. Big nasty corporation stomps all over plucky public-serving underdog. Who can resist that plot line?
Second, the equation Bank Julius Baer = Money Laundering is now firmly cemented in the minds of everyone who has encountered this story, regardless of whether it's true.
Trois: The documents in question, which might have been quickly forgotten alongside the 1.2 million others on the site, are now hotter than the Paris Hilton sex video. Dozens of mirror sites have sprung up, and Cryptome.org and PirateBay have squirreled away copies of the docs for any interested parties.
Oh, and by the way, the judge's order failed to shut down the site. The IP numbers (88.80.13.160) still work, as do its Belgian and Christmas Island domains. Or they would, only last time I checked the sites were overwhelmed with traffic from people with a sudden keen interest in Cayman Islands banking.
It's a fascinating study in how the courts and high-powered corporations still manage to shoot themselves in the feet when they try to manipulate the Net. (Remember: The Internet is not a dump truck, it's a series of tubes.) But it's also an illustration of why things like NSA wiretaps and efforts to throttle network traffic must be opposed.
Tap the Net backbone, and you make it much harder to post documents to places like WikiLeaks anonymously. (If you think those taps will only be used to identify terrorists, you're living in a fantasy world.) Suddenly the planet becomes a lot more dangerous for whistle blowers.
But this story also touches on both telecom immunity and Net neutrality. Say you're an AT&T employee who wants to post evidence revealing how the company deployed illegal wire taps. What's to keep your friendly telecom provider from killing those bits before they ever reach their destination? This is the kind of thing that will happen when ISPs are asked to become traffic cops, as the recording and movie industries have proposed.
As crypto-wonk Bruce Schneier has eloquently stated, this ain't about security, it's about control. Corporations and governments have an insatiable appetite for it. But I think we're all better off when they go hungry.
Would you leak your docs if you thought the NSA was listening? Spout off below or e-mail me here. Top tipsters qualify for cool swag and, yes, I will keep your identities confidential.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on February 20, 2008 03:00 AM
February 15, 2008 | Comments: (0)
White knight, black heart. Here's a bit of chilling news: Rupert Murdoch's News Corp. is apparently in talks with Yahoo on ways to save it from the clutches of Microsoft. That's a bit like being rescued from a fire-breathing dragon by a man-eating shark. The tea leaves suggest News Corp. would swap MySpace for as much as 20 percent of Yahoo. What they're less clear on is whether this would make Yahoo more palatable to Microsoft (and thus worth $40 a share) or turn Yahoo into one of those things you have to choke down with a nose clamp and a tumbler of Scotch. Still, it would be fun to lock Ballmer and Murdoch together in a conference room and see who comes out alive.
No business like SCO business. It's too early for April Fool's Day, so it must be true. Some adventurous private venture firm is investing $100 million in SCO so that it can emerge from bankruptcy (and, presumably, fork over what it owes to Novell). There are some strings attached, however. CEO Darl McBride would be urged to pursue his lifelong dream of becoming a NASCAR champion, far from SCO's doors. Then again, maybe they just can't bear to watch the tech world's longest-running soap operas come to a close.
Loss leaders. A Washington, D.C., woman is suing Best Buy for $54 million after its Geek Squad misplaced her laptop. (Apparently it was a really really nice laptop.) Raelyn Campbell has a better chance of hitting a spy satellite with a slingshot than collecting anything close to that amount, but she certainly got everyone's attention. Just imagine how much she would have asked for if they had lost her MacBook Air.
Got hot tips or $100 million to spare? Send me a check or post your comments below. Top tipsters qualify for cool swag. (Just don't sue us if it gets lost en route.)
Think you've got the right stuff to pass our tech quizzes? They're not as easy as they look:
• The InfoWorld News Quiz
• Test Your Geek IQ
• Test Your Network Security IQ
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on February 15, 2008 06:19 AM
February 08, 2008 | Comments: (0)
(Yes, the Cringe blog has two Geek News roundups this week instead of one. Don't like it? Blame Microsoft.)
Spook for yourself. Don't look now, but your favorite virtual world may be a hotbed of actual terrorists and assorted criminals. Or so warns a report issued by the Intelligence Advanced Research Project Activity, a kind of uber-intelligence agency designed to fill in the cracks between our nation's 15 other spy agencies. According to the report, the CIA has already set up its own islands on Second Life to train virtual spies (that must be where all those missing WMDs are hiding). But I wouldn't worry too much. You can tell who the terrorists are in Second Life; they're the only ones who aren't dressed like sex slaves. Then again, those might just be the CIA agents.
Mean green machines. Dell has announced the winners of its ecologically inspired art contest on Facebook. The contest's theme was "What does green mean to you?" (which I suppose is the diametric opposite of "what can Brown do for you?"). Participants used Facebook's Graffiti applet to generate more than 7,000 entries worthy of any Thomas Kinkade Gallery, but you can find the winners here. My favorites: lovingly rendered images of a squirrel about to be creamed by a monorail, the guy trying to sniff a salamander up his nose, and an enormous (yet tearful) rodent on the verge of devouring a small city. Worth a look.
Crunchy goodness? Google may be on the verge of buying Bebo, a social networking site that's like the MySpace for Europe. Or it might have already bought Plaxo, the contact management site that wishes it were a social network. Or it might do both. Whether you believe these rumors depends on how much stock you put into their source: the TechCrunch blog, which did nail the Google-YouTube deal last year a few days before the news became public but tends to shoot from the hip first and ask questions later. I don't know if acquiring Plaxo and Bebo is such a good idea; I understand they're hotbeds of terrorism.
Got hot tips or ravenous rodents? Post your news below or e-mail me here. Top tipsters qualify for cool eco-friendly swag.
Think you've got the right stuff to pass our tech quizzes? They're not as easy as they look:
• The InfoWorld News Quiz
• Test Your Geek IQ
• Test Your Network Security IQ
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on February 8, 2008 07:48 AM
February 04, 2008 | Comments: (0)
Talk QWERTY to me. Microsoft isn't the only big player in the acquisition game. While everyone was kvelling over MS's Yahoo offer, Amazon bought Audible for $300 million, presumably so it can deliver audiobooks to its Kindle e-book readers. Wait -- didn't somebody already invent the talking calculator back in the '70s?
Slow children playing. Apparently even Microsoft can't stand how slow Vista is. The Redmond reprobates have published Vista speed-up tips on Microsoft's Windows How To site. Here's some of the shocking advice: You should run fewer programs at the same time, restart your computer regularly, and when all else fails, add more memory. In other words, the same advice as for Windows 3.1, Windows 95, Windows 98, Windows NT, Windows 2000, Windows ME, Windows XP, and DOS 5.0. It's nice to see Redmond has learned something in 25 years. Too bad programming a bug-free operating system wasn't it.
Stiff competition. Storm may still be raging, but it's been bumped from the No. 1 slot on the botnet hit parade by Mega-D, according to security research firm Marshall. They claim the Viagra-pushing bot (also known as Mega-Dik) is now larger and more tumescent than the Storm worm, which has been spreading in these pre-Valentines days through bogus messages of love. But hey, size doesn't matter, right?
Got hot tips or love advice? Post them below or e-mail me here. Top tipsters qualify for sexy swag.
Think you've got the right stuff to pass our tech quizzes? They're not as easy as they look:
• The InfoWorld News Quiz
• Test Your Geek IQ
• Test Your Network Security IQ
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on February 4, 2008 05:48 AM
January 25, 2008 | Comments: (0)
Statue of limitations. So it turns out the Republic of Estonia's Internet infrastructure was taken down not by the Russian mafia or Vladimir Putin's cybergoons, but by a ticked-off 20-year-old. Dmitri Galushkevich has been fined $1,640 (a year's salary at an Estonian McDonald's) for launching a DDoS attack that crippled government Web sites for several weeks last May. Galushvevich was retaliating for the Estonian government's decision to relocate a statue of a Russian World War II hero. Imagine what he might do if his parents confiscated his cell phone or grounded him for the weekend.
All Blue, all the time. IBM employees are surely singing the blues after the firm announced that it's slashing the salaries of 7,600 employees by 15 percent. This comes after having paid $65 million to settle a 2006 court case requiring the firm to compensate employees for overtime. Did I mention that Big Blue made over $10 billion in profit last year? The right hand giveth while the left hand picketh your pocket.
Broken records. Here's some good news. The International Federation of the Phonographic Industry -- yet another in a seemingly endless series of music industry groups -- wants to turn your ISP into a copyright cop. IFPI chair John Kennedy called on ISPs to "take responsibility for protecting content" traveling across their networks. I'm sure Time Warner and AT&T will figure out a way to charge us extra for the service. As the IFPI was issuing this proclamation, Charter Communications was flushing the e-mail accounts of 14,000 subscribers. Apparently the monkey they use to administer e-mail hit the Delete key by accident. Charter apologized and promised to spank the monkey vigorously. The IFPI should consider doing the same.
Got hot tips or naughty chimps? Send them to me here or post them below. Top tipsters are in line for some spanking good swag.
Think you've got the right stuff to pass our tech quizzes? They're not as easy as they look:
• The InfoWorld News Quiz
• Test Your Geek IQ
• Test Your Network Security IQ
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on January 25, 2008 06:04 AM
January 18, 2008 | Comments: (0)
Big Brother can you spare a dime? According to The Times of London, an American company has applied for a patent on technology that will measure employees' "productivity, physical well being, and competence" -- essentially attaching a lie detector, a camera, and a heart monitor to cubicle rats and measuring how well they navigate the maze. And what is the name of this company, you might ask? Why, Microsoft, of course. Of organizations that really need to measure their employees' competence, the Redmond reprobates would surely land in the top 10. But just imagine the kind of dialog boxes you'll see: "Microsoft CubeSpy will restart your heart in 10 seconds. Accept or Cancel?"
All my excess live in Texas. It seems Time Warner is mulling a plan to soak subscribers who suck too hard on their precious pipes. The cable giant is testing a plan in Beaumont, Texas (why do bad things always seem to happen in Texas?), that would meter bandwidth usage and levy surcharges on those who exceed their monthly cap. Strangely, there's no mention of refunding fees to subscribers who use only a fraction of the bandwidth they're paying for.
Cruise control. It seems Tom Cruise has a new movie out, but not one he or the Church of Scientology wants anyone to see. Some devious soul posted a 9-minute clip of Cruise waxing ecstatic about the wonders of his chosen religion (the short version: Scientology fixes everything.) The clip appeared on Google Video, YouTube, Defamer, Radar, and Gawker, and each time the CoS sent a nastygram ordering the clip to be taken down. (So far, Gawker has refused.) But every time one clip comes down, it seems ten more get posted. Apparently even the great L. Ron in the sky can't stop it. Mostly the clip shows Tom to be the dimwit/loon we already know he is, thanks to his appearances on Oprah and the Today show. Couldn't he just have a sex tape like everybody else in Hollywood?
Got more tech news or scary Tom Cruise videos? Post them below or email me here. Top tipsters qualify for cool swag and a free cease and desist letter from the CoS.
Think you've got the right stuff to pass our tech quizzes? They're not as easy as they look:
• The InfoWorld News Quiz
• Test Your Geek IQ
• Test Your Network Security IQ
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on January 18, 2008 06:05 AM
January 11, 2008 | Comments: (0)
Porn to Run. Makers of our nation's blue movies may soon be making Blu movies – as in Blu-ray – following the apparent collapse of the HD-DVD format after major defections by Warner and Paramount. Though the skin flix slicks were early HD-DVD supporters, they've announced they're perfectly willing to swing either way. (Why am I not surprised?) Personally I think watching adult films in HD is like that old line about making laws and sausages – you really don't want to know the intimate details. Sometimes a little Vaseline on the lens is a good thing.
More Sony baloney. Like film studios abandoning HD-DVD, music industry rats are leaving the DRM ship before it sinks. The latest vermin to beat a retreat is Sony BMG, which recently announced Platinum MusicPass, a scheme that makes DRM look positively brilliant by comparison. MusicPass gives you the opportunity to download one of 37 DRM-free albums from Sony's music store – provided you first go into a retail outlet and spend $13 on a scratch card that provides a code to unlock the tunes. Sure, I'll do that – the day monkeys fly out of my butt.
Something Wikia this way comes. It's unanimous: the new Wikia search engine sucks. Hey, if you don't believe me, ask its creator, Jimmy Wales. After the would-be Google competitor debuted to scathing reviews, Wales himself weighed in and admitted that the thing would continue to gulp air while Wikiapedo-philes worked to make it better. Give him points for honesty. The day I hear a Microsoft product manager say one of its products sucks is the day monkeys.... well, you know the rest.
Got hot news or flying monkeys? Send them my way or post the good word below. Top tipsters may take home cool swag.
Think you've got the right stuff to pass our tech quizzes? They're not as easy as they look:
• The InfoWorld News Quiz
• Test Your Geek IQ
• Test Your Network Security IQ
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on January 11, 2008 03:00 AM
January 04, 2008 | Comments: (0)
No bangs, just whimpers. The year 2008 started with a bang up in Seattle – or it would have, if the city's fireworks show had gone off as planned. Instead, a glitch in the software running the pyrotechnics forced the technicians to reboot their computer several times. The show finally started six minutes into the new year, but then from only one side of the Space Needle. And yes, the computer was running Windows. No word whether delays were caused by having to Confirm or Cancel each explosion.
Sears: Where Spying Begins. There's a new player in the spyware game: Sears. According to researchers at CA and Harvard, Sears customers who sign up to join My SHC Community at Sears.com end up installing software that records all of their Web activities and sends them onto Sear's partner in data snooping, ComScore. Info gathered includes secure online banking and shopping transactions, email headers, and even how fast you type. Worse, Sears actually has two privacy polices regarding its tracking software -- a vague one for people who haven't yet installed the spyware, and a more explicit one for those whose PCs are already under surveillance. I understand Sears will be rolling out a similar plan in retail stores: Along with your next Lady Kenmore dishwasher, you'll be able to buy a service plan where a repair tech comes to your home and peeks through your windows.
Bhutto the empire slayer. Seems like the mainstream media is still struggling to get the hang of them Internets. Example du jour: Bilawal Bhutto Zardari, the 19 year old son of slain Pakistani leader Benizar Bhutto. In their rush to get facts about the new leader of Pakistan's opposition party, newspapers and TV stations quoted from Zadari's Facebook profile. Problem is, it was a prank profile containing quotes lifted from "West Wing" and an homage to "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." To my colleagues in the MSM, I have just one word: Google. Use it or lose it.
Got more news of a tech nature? Lay it on me bro or post it below. Top tipsters qualify for cool stuff of a swaggish nature.
Think you've got the right stuff to pass our tech quizzes? They're not as easy as they look:
• The InfoWorld News Quiz
• Test Your Geek IQ
• Test Your Network Security IQ
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on January 4, 2008 07:00 AM
January 02, 2008 | Comments: (0)
Predictions 2.0: Things that will make you Cringe in 2008
It's fun, it's easy, and virtually everybody else does it, so why not Le Cringe? I whipped out the Oujia Board, spit into some tea leaves, examined a few goat entrails, and came up with some of the big trends in tech that will come to pass over the next 12 months. Some may surprise you; others are, well, utterly predictable.
Microsoft buys Yahoo and AOL. Yes, two ancient rumors for just one low low price. Redmond will grow its advertising market share on the Net the old fashioned way – by buying it from someone else. It will still get its a** kicked by Google, but at least it will have an a** worth kicking.
Apple goes bananas. The first phones based on Google Android will appear, though they will be easily outsold by Apple's yet-to-be-officially-announced 3G iPhone. Steve Jobs will then sue this blog for revealing that piece of information, claiming it is a trade secret that could only have come from sources inside Apple. Shortly thereafter Jobs will shock the world by announcing that he is retiring as CEO of Apple Inc. He will name the Fake Steve Jobs as his replacement, who will then sue this blog for revealing that piece of information.
Facebook grows up. Facebook's membership will pass the 100 million mark, then level off. As a sign of the social network's growing maturity, its 23-year-old CEO Mark Zuckerberg will begin shaving every other day instead of twice a week.
Everything turns green. Every bit of new tech introduced in 2008 will have some kind of environmental angle to it, whether real or imaginary. But in the unlikely event the Republicans manage to hold onto the White House (see The vote gets hacked, below) expect most companies to eventually revert to their usual shade of brown.
DRM goes down. The last of the four major record companies will finally give up the DRM ghost in 2008, allowing unrestricted MP3s to be sold across the Web. But like a killing machine that's stuck in the "on" position after its evil masters have been defeated, the RIAA will continue to file suit against cripples, corpses, orphans, and the mentally incompetent. This year its attorneys will introduce a new legal tactic: suing the unborn children of file-swapping moms.
The vote gets hacked. Electronic voting machines used in the 2008 presidental election will be hacked. But we'll only find out after Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is declared the winner in a landslide. The wrestler-turned-actor will vow to serve faithfully and muscularly, and a bitterly divided nation will embrace him (because, at this point, anyone else would be an improvement).
We'll know more about less. Microblogs like Twitter and Pownce will become passe in 2008, being surpassed by Nanoblogs where users post moment-by-moment fluctuations in their heart rates, cholesterol counts, and IQs. The technorati will declare they can't remember how they managed to survive before the invention of 'nanobs'.
Vowels become an endangered species. Remember dot bomb startups that used a small 'e' or 'i' prefix to signal that they were totally down with the Net? Now, some 10 years later, we're facing the tragic results: a desperate shortage of vowels. Hence, the surge in sites with names like Flickr, Tumblr, Groovr, Cluztr, Particls, Crush3r, and so on. By the end of 2008, only those schooled in Eastern European languages will be able to navigate the Web. Ds vdnya, kmrds!
What do you think will happen in the Great '08? Post your predictions below or email me here. Top tipsters will qualify for hot new swag.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on January 2, 2008 05:43 AM
December 31, 2007 | Comments: (0)
Songs of the RIAA, Virgled Googins, and More
First, I want to let everyone out there in Cringeville know that I did in fact survive the InfoWorld Christmas party last week (or was that the week before?). A big thanks to Skip McJingle for pinch-hitting for me in my brief absence. Now... has anyone seen my pants?
Before we kiss 2007 good-bye, I wanted to tie up a couple of loose ends. First, thanks to all those Cringesters who offered up song titles that describe how they feel about the RIAA. Cringster W. K. sums it up nicely, I think:
"Every Breath You Take" by The Police – and – "On the Border" by The Eagles. Both are songs of stalking, and hint of the tactics and attitude of the RIAA, I believe. Of course, I own legal copies of both songs; first on vinyl and now also on CD. But I would NEVER consider making copies...
Other notable candidates, followed by the initials of the Cringe fans who submitted them (when known):
"Clash with Reality" by Pantera
"Trampled under Foot" by Led Zeppelin (H.T.C.)
"Please Mr. Customs Man" by Arlo Guthrie (G.M.)
"Sue Me, Sue You Blues" by George Harrison (D.F.)
"Get Over It" by the Eagles (R.J.L.)
"Fight for Your Right (To Parrrrrrtttaaaaaaayyyy!)" [and rip CDs to MP3s] by the Beastie Boys (J.R.)
Who knew Cringesters had such varied musical tastes?
Next: Google and Virgin, two great disrupters that could disrupt great together. Several readers served up their ideas of what a merger of these two media giants should be called. I think the winner has to be Virgo, submitted by several folks. The description from Astrologycom says it all:
A critical eye for detail, combined with your ceaseless pursuit of perfection, endows you with an irresistible urge to improve everything and everyone (whether they need it or not!)....Although you often have altruistic motives in helping others, you do have a teensy tendency to act the martyr when your offerings are ignored.
Yep, that sounds about right.
Happy New Year. Thanks for reading and writing in 2007, and check back in on Wednesday for my predictions on what will happen to tech in 2008.
Got hot news? Seen my pants lately? File your reports below or email them to me here. Top tipsters qualify for cool Cringe swag, newly improved for 2008.
Think you've got the right stuff to pass our tech quizzes? They're not as easy as they look:
• The InfoWorld News Quiz
• Test Your Geek IQ
• Test Your Network Security IQ
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on December 31, 2007 07:33 AM
December 24, 2007 | Comments: (0)
It's time again to honor those companies whose high-tech hijinks have made for continual blog fodder over the past year. As with last year, this year's *Moonies (for Malicious Obnoxious Offensive or Nonsensical behavior) come with a handsome statuette of Steve Ballmer dropping trou in the general direction of the Googleplex. Also noted: a few companies that get a tip of the Cringe fedora for a job well done.
So without further preamble:
The Sweet Turd of Youth award goes to Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook's 20-something CEO. Z-Berg had no qualms about sharing his subscriber's Amazon's purchases via the ill-thought-out Beacon ad service, but howled like a Banshee when his own privacy was violated. Facebook sued Cambridge-based magazine 02138 after it published Zuckerberg's college diary, Harvard application, and other embarrassing documents. The docs are part of the public record, courtesy of a suit in which Zuckerberg is accused of stealing key concepts of Facebook from ConnectU, another social networking site with whom Zuckerberg was briefly employed. My favorite diary entry (PDF): "The Kirkland facebook is open on my computer desktop and some of these people have pretty horrendous facebook pics. I almost want to put some of these faces next to pictures of farm animals and have people vote on which is more attractive." Nice.
On the other hand: Maybe this will convince Facebook to bring in adult supervision, the way Larry and Sergey brought in Eric Schmidt. Or at the very least someone to bring them a snack and a blankie at naptime.
We'd tell you, but then we'd have to kill you award goes to Apple Inc. Two years ago, Apple sued Think Secret, an Apple-centric news blog written by Harvard student Nick Ciarelli (a.k.a. Nick dePlume), in an attempt to strong-arm Ciarelli into revealing the names of his sources. In a settlement reached last week, Apple agreed to drop its suit against Think Secret, provided Think Secret agreed to drop dead. Both parties are calling it a "positive solution," but I suspect that's more from lawyer fatigue than anything else. Sure, Apple's products are great (well, unless you include the AppleTV), but its tactics are chilling. "Think Different," my a**. It's the same old corporate control in spiffy white-on-white package.
On the other hand: Maybe this will finally convince some rabid Mac fanboys to abandon their slavish devotion to St. Stephen of Cupertino. But I'm not betting on it.
We know it's a dead horse but we enjoy beating it anyway award goes to SCO, which has doggedly pursued a course of self-destruction since it first sued Novell and IBM over the rights to Unix roughly 97 years ago. (It seems like that long anyway.) Having lost the key battle over who owns the copyrights to Unix last August (that would be Novell), there's little left to do but divvy up what's left of a company whose sole purpose seemed to be spreading FUD throughout the Linux movement. SCO filed for financial bankruptcy in September; moral bankruptcy occurred some time prior.
On the other hand: Lawyers gotta eat.
The Vista we hardly missed ya award goes to Microsoft (duh). It wouldn't be a Cringe awards column without flashing a great big moon in the general direction of Redmond. Nearly a year after Vista's debut, people are still debating whether the new OS was a step forward for the company, two steps back, or possibly just some weird spasmodic attack that hopefully will pass. No matter, because we're stuck with it. Though PC makers are selling XP systems longer than they (or Microsoft) thought they would, those of us who don't migrate to Mac or leap to Linux will be using Vista eventually.
On the other hand: Vista is better than Windows ME, so they got that going for them. (See, I can say something nice about Microsoft, if I really try.)
Meanwhile, a tip of the virtual fedora goes to... Dell, for listening to its customers and releasing a Linux-based PC (now about those support options...). Google, for continually whacking entrenched monopolies upside the head (and if they win the auction for the 700MHz spectrum, things ought to get pretty interesting). Novell and IBM, who probably could have just paid SCO to go away but didn't. HP, for not doing anything particularly egregious for the past 12 months (I'm sure they'll recover in 2008). And to everyone who's contributed to this blog by reading, emailing, and writing comments, and engaging in spirited debate. Let's all do it again next year, shall we?
* No association with the church of the Reverend Sun Myung Moon is intended. But if you want to make your own jokes in that regard, feel free. Just don't mention Apple and you probably won't get sued.
Who's on your best/worst list for 2007? Nominate them below or email me here. Top tipsters will qualify for cool swag (which won't make it there by Christmas, I'm sad to say.)
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on December 24, 2007 03:00 AM
December 14, 2007 | Comments: (0)
w00t's all this then? In yet another sign of the coming apocalypse, denizens of the Merriam Webster site have designated "w00t" as their word of the year. "W00t" means a whoop of joy or triumph generated by an online gamer after he/she/it has squashed an opponent. Runner up was "facebook," used as a verb. To facebook apparently means "to annoy your subscribers by violating their privacy while simultaneously declaring that subscribers don't care about privacy anymore."
Googlepedia. It appears Google getting into the Wikipedia racket, serving up a site where people can chime in on any topic of their choosing, regardless of their degree of actual knowledge. The pages are called "knols," and the site is invite-only right now. The sample entry, about insomnia and apparently written by the sister of Google VP of engineering Udi Manber, is sure to put anybody to sleep.
The Greek Squad. Cringester J. J. reports that he successfully updated his copy of IE 6.0 on his desktop computer yesterday. Normally this would not qualify as news, except that Update displayed his results screen in Greek. Yes, we know – all Microsoft screens are Greek to you.
Got hot tips or new news? Send them my way or post them below. Top tipsters can get enhance their swagger with cool Cringe swag.
Think you've got the right stuff to pass our tech quizzes? They're not as easy as they look:
• The InfoWorld News Quiz
• Test Your Geek IQ
• Test Your Network Security IQ
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on December 14, 2007 09:34 AM
December 07, 2007 | Comments: (0)
We're your customers, b*tch. Facebook Beacon shined an unwelcome light into its subscribers' buying habits, tracking them even when they weren't logged in and slurping up data from sites like Amazon and Overstock even for non-FB members. Facebook's response to the howls of protest that followed? A quasi-humble apology from CEO Mark Zuckerberg and the ability for FBers to turn off the service entirely. Apparently he believes the mea culpa was enough, because Facebook's data Hoovering proclivities remain unchanged. Zuckerberg got famous for handing out business cards that read "I'm the CEO, b*tch." And at the time, everybody thought he was kidding.
Open for business? So Verizon Wireless is opening up its network next year and is hinting about supporting Google Android devices. AT&T followed by declaring itself the "most open wireless company in the industry" (unless you're using an iPhone). So, peace in our time, right? The problem is, this is the point in the movie where it looks like Arnold/Bruce/Clint has pummeled the villain into submission, but you know there's still 20 minutes left. No company born out of a total monopoly turned cartel gives up that easily. The villain will rise again.
Spectrum analysis. So it's going to be one big party come next January when companies actually start bidding on the hottest piece of radio wave real estate in the 'verse: the 700MHz band soon to be abandoned by analog TV. Besides behemoths AT&T, Verizon, and Google, we've got second-tier satellite companies like EchoStar and pipsqueaks like Leap and Frontline Wireless. Gee, if I had $4.6 billion to spare, I might bid too. Remember what I said about the villain rising? Look for AT&T and Verizon to fight tooth and nail for control of the new spectrum. And then... well, you've seen the movie. Only this time there's no guarantees the good guys will win.
Got hot tips or tech news? Post them below or e-mail me here. Top tipsters qualify for cool swag.
Think you've got the right stuff to pass our tech quizzes? They're not as easy as they look:
• The InfoWorld News Quiz
• Test Your Geek IQ
• Test Your Network Security IQ
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on December 7, 2007 05:46 AM
November 30, 2007 | Comments: (0)
Danger, danger Bill Gates-son. Yes, it's the nightmare scenario we've all been dreading. Microsoft is building an army of robots that will eventually take over the planet – and then crash, leaving 7 billion people on hold with tech support. So far, though, it's just an army of one, and he's only 14 inches tall. At this week's International Robot Exhibition in Tokyo, ZMP set loose its e-nuvo WALK 3, a 5.5-pound biped bot that runs on Microsoft's Robotics Studio software and will be available in Japan next year for around $5400. Call it a BPOD -- Blue Planet of Death.
The 411 on that 419. A Nigerian company is suing the One Laptop Per Child project for patent infringement. Lagos Analysis Corp. claims the $100 $188 laptop do-gooders reverse engineered its patented keyboard technology, which allows users to easily produce diacritical marks (accents, umlauts, etc.) essential to most non-English alphabets. I understand the Nigerians are willing to settle the suit amicably, if Nicolas Negroponte agrees to help them smuggle out $35 million of government funds embezzled by an ex-cabinet minister.
Rotten to the Gore. First the Supreme Court pulled the rug out from underneath his presidential dreams. Now cyberscammers have done the same to Al Gore's Web site. The blog page for the ex-veep's award-winning documentary An Inconvenient Truth was apparently hacked via a vulnerability in WordPress. Though the pages weren't altered in any visible way, their source code was engorged with links to sites hawking Viagra and Cialis in an effort to pump up the pharma sites' Googe Juice. The good news: Using such substances can be carbon neutral, provided you don't breath too hard.
Skip to the loo. On the go and gotta go? Just send a text with the word "toilet" and you'll receive a message back with the location of the nearest, um, facilities. At least you will if you live in London, where the new "SatLav" service pinpoints the location of 40 public toilets in the city's busiest tourist district. SatLav is the brainchild of the British Toilet Association, which is apparently just down the hall from The Ministry of Silly Walks.
Got hot news or slanderous gossip? Lay it on me bro or post it below. Top tipsters qualify for cool swag.
Think you've got the right stuff to pass our tech quizzes? They're not as easy as they look:
• The InfoWorld News Quiz
• Test Your Geek IQ
• Test Your Network Security IQ
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on November 30, 2007 05:51 AM
November 16, 2007 | Comments: (0)
ABC – Always Be Coding. Not content to let iPhone hackers have all the fun, Google has announced $10 million worth of cash incentives for developers of Android apps. In stage one of the Android Developer Challenge, Googleheads will pass out 25 Large to creators of the 50 most promising apps. In stage two, after actual handsets arrive and the real work begins, the G-men and G-women will dole out $275K for each of the top 10 apps and peel off $100K apiece for the 10 runners up. Third prize? A set of steak knives. I understand Google plans to fund the incentive program by collecting the change that falls out of Sergey's pockets as he Segways around the Googleplex.
Telecom before the storm. The US House of Reps has pulled a last-minute switcheroo and declined to grant immunity to the Spy Kids at AT&T, Verizon, and every other telecom provider (except Quest) that coughed and looked the other way while the NSA was tapping into its networks. The House bill gives more spying power to the spooks, but requires them and our nation's network providers to actually abide by the law. Of course, the bill will be vetoed and Congress will eventually cave, so civil libertarians should enjoy this little respite of Constitutionality while it lasts. Switzerland, anyone?
Virtual realty. A Dutch teenager has been arrested for virtual breaking and entering at the Habbo Hotel, a cartoon 3D world whose inhabitants look like refugees from Legoland. The teen apparently tricked other Habbo dwellers into giving up their passwords, broke into their imaginary rooms and stole nearly $6,000 worth of artificial furniture. I understand his plan was to sell them so he could buy some simulated crack. Is it me, or is it getting really strange out there?
Got hot news of a tech nature? Share it with the world below or email me here. Top tipsters qualify for cool swag (but not Swiss chocolate, I'm afraid).
Think you've got the right stuff to pass our tech quizzes? They're not as easy as they look:
• The InfoWorld News Quiz
• Test Your Geek IQ
• Test Your Network Security IQ
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on November 16, 2007 06:21 AM
November 09, 2007 | Comments: (0)
Ad nauseum. Facebook unveiled its spiffy new "social ads" concept this week, where Facebookers get to broadcast all their commercial preferences to their friends and get nothing but their ads in return. Want to just skip the whole thing? Sorry, no can do, says Facebook Ego Scout Mark Zuckerberg. "It's an ad-supported service," shrugs the Doogie Howser of Web 2.0. On the plus side, I understand the new ad service comes has its own catchy jingle: "I'm a pimper, you're a pimper, wouldn't you like to be a pimper too?"
Yes, but will it dream of electric sheep? The Google phone has finally arrived and – surprise – it's not actually a phone. Steve Ballmer has already dissed Google's Android OS as "just a press release," a sure sign of Microsoft's deep concern that Android will prove to be the banana peel beneath their slippery toehold in the mobile space. But the name? Philip K. Dick references aside, it's not the warmest and fuzziest thing the Google Marketeers have ever conjured up. I think I'll call it 'Andy,' just to break the ice.
The Artist Currently Known as A******. The Midget from Minneapolis has struck again. First his minions sent a takedown notice to a woman in Pennsylvania who'd posted a 30-second clip of her toddler shaking his booty to "Let's Go Crazy" on YouTube. (Maybe he was afraid fans would confuse him with the 18-month-old, given their closeness in size.) Now his Purpleness is putting the hammer down on fan sites that dare to publish photographs of the aging, diminutive pop star. Prince recently gave away copies of his latest album, Planet Earth, for free with a copy of The Mail, a UK newspaper. No word on how many people kept the newspapers and chucked the CD.
Got hot tips or photos of his majesty? Post them below or email them to me here. (And if you've had problems reaching me lately, my apologies -- Cringe mail was down for nearly a week, but it's back now.) Top tipsters qualify for top swag.
Think you've got the right stuff to pass our tech quizzes? They're not as easy as they look:
• The InfoWorld News Quiz
• Test Your Geek IQ
• Test Your Network Security IQ
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on November 9, 2007 05:35 AM
November 02, 2007 | Comments: (0)
In your Face... book. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. And if you can't buy 1.6% of them, round up their competitors to beat them to a pulp. Google's response to losing out to Microsoft on the Facebook deal was to sign up virtually everyone else in the social networking space – including MySpace, Linked-In, and Salesforce.com – to its OpenSocial application development platform. Virtually overnight, OpenSocial gains an audience five times as large as Facebook's. That's exactly what the Web needs: more ways to hurl sheep, launch zombie attacks, and generally waste each other's time.
Duck and cover. In case you weren't paranoid enough, comes news from Israeli anti-terror site Debka.com that Osama Bin Laden is poised to introduce "Electronic Jihad Version 2.0." According to the site, al Quada will launch attacks against non-fundamentalist Web sites starting on November 11 thanks to the Electronic Jihad software's easy point-and-click interface. I understand terrorists who upgrade from version 1.0 also receive 24/7 support and three additional virgins in the afterlife.
The sound of one hand typing. Clever spammers are using Trojans masquerading as virtual strippers to defeat those Web applets designed to prove you're a human and not a bot. A lingerie clad “Melissa” pops up on screen, offering to remove one item of clothing for every squiggly number you enter correctly. The numbers are sent to a server and used to sign up for Web accounts. And this ruse works because.... it's really hard to find naked pictures on the Web? There's certainly no shortage of boobs.
Got hot tips of the tech variety? Share them below or email me here. Cool swag could be yours if I use your submission in the blog.
Think you've got the right stuff to pass our tech quizzes? They're not as easy as they look:
• The InfoWorld News Quiz
• Test Your Geek IQ
• Test Your Network Security IQ
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on November 2, 2007 08:08 AM
October 26, 2007 | Comments: (0)
My baby, she wrote me a letter. Oracle has sent a letter to BEA's board of directors giving them a deadline of Sunday to accept their offer or it's off the table. This essentially translates to "do something you don't want to do or we'll stop asking you to do it." I understand if that tactic doesn't work, they're threatening to airlift Larry Ellison's ego and drop it onto BEA's corporate offices, covering the building in a warm gelatinous ooze.
Tune deaf. AT&T and Napster have announced a deal where AT&T customers (at least, those who don't use iPhones) have the privilege of downloading music to their handsets for $2 per tune or $7.50 for a group of five. Because ... the songs sound twice as good as the same ones on iTunes, or because AT&T customers believes its customers are twice as dim?
With friends like this... Who knew a tiny sliver of Facebook would inspire such ardor? I understand Google offered FB honcho Mark Zuckerberg free rides on the Google Jet and a date with LonelyGirl. But Microsoft ultimately held the winning hand, thanks to an unbeatable combination of an outrageous offer ($240 million) and a guarantee to Zuckerberg that he would not have to add Steve Ballmer to his friends list.
Got hot tips or $240 million to spare? Post your thoughts below or e-mail me here. Top tipsters qualify for cool swag.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on October 26, 2007 03:00 AM
October 19, 2007 | Comments: (0)
Hello Dalai, Goodbye Google. Reports from the far east say Web surfers in China who are trying to reach Google or Yahoo are being redirected to Chinese based search engines. Search wonks suspect the Chinese government is mad at President Bush for presenting an award to the Dalai Lama, and this is their way of retaliating. (Other reports suggest that this is only happening to some Chinese netizens.) If true, this could be the first step in a prolonged cyberbattle with the Asian superpower. If we don't stop handing out swag to people the PRC doesn't like, they may stop pirating all of our movies, music, and software.
Everybody's Trying to be my Baby. Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg must feel like the only girl at a testosterone clinic. Everybody keeps throwing money, chocolate, and flowers at his company in the hopes of winning their hearts (or whatever other body parts are available). Microsoft wants a piece. So does Google. Meanwhile, Zuckerberg says FB's got a sugar daddy who will keep it in champagne and bon-bons for the foreseeable future -- and forestall what would likely be the second biggest tech IPO of this millennium. The question still remains, however: after all that wooing, will Facebook finally put out?
Dominus deus iPhonus. Diety-in-waiting Steve Jobs has announced that next February Apple will release an SDK for creating third-party iPhone apps. It's taking that long because Apple needs to create an open platform for developers. And by “open,” rest assured Apple means “open to those with a valid ID that we feel like letting in and, please, no more of that SIM unlocking funny business.” Remember St. Steven's first commandment: Thou shalt not hack thy holy operating system.
Got hot news of the geek variety? Share it with the world below or give me the scoop direct. Cool new swag could be yours.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on October 19, 2007 09:09 AM
October 12, 2007 | Comments: (0)
Please check your number and try again. Microsoft has re-organized its mobile platform team, as it gears up to take on Apple and Google in the only OS fight that really matters these days – the battle for your cell phone. With luck, the newly focused, razor sharp, highly motivated Redmonites should be ready to reorganize again in two or three years.
Breaking news. A Pittsburgh TV station was forced to broadcast its midday news show from a parking lot on Wednesday thanks to a computer glitch caused by Windows Update. WPXI's new Windows-based production system failed to install a vital update, rendering it useless. When you put the letters X and P in your station name, bad things are bound to happen. (A tip of the Cringe fedora to R. J. N for that tidbit.)
Whole lotta shakeups goin' on. Following in the sonic footsteps of Radiohead, supergroups Oasis, Nine Inch Nails, and the pre-menopausal Madonna have announced plans to bypass record labels and sell their music directly over the Web. Meanwhile, the record companies are planning a rebellion of their own. According to BusinessWeek, Universal Music, Sony BMG, and Warner Music are hatching a subscription service called Total Music that would take on both Apple iTunes and Rhapsody. I understand the record companies plan to keep all the money while the artists get to keep the shaft.
Is your Blackberry jingling or are you just glad to see me? An epidemic of phantom vibrations is striking mobile phone users across the nation, according to a report by the Associated Press. It seems scores of Blackberry and Sidekick users can feel their phones vibrating in their pockets when they're really just sitting idly, waiting for Paris Hilton to call. Also just in from the AP: Eating Pop Rocks while drinking Diet Coke can cause your head to explode.
Got more stupid tech news stories? Lay 'em on me or file your report below. Top tipsters qualify for serious swag.
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on October 12, 2007 08:55 AM
October 05, 2007 | Comments: (0)
Trial by wire. The RIAA has sued 26,000 people for file sharing, but this week marks the first time it's actually had to prove its case in court. A jury in Duluth has awarded the industry pariah -- err, PR group -- damages of $222,000 from Minnesota mom Jammie Thomas, whom they decided had illegally 'made available' 24 songs on Kazaa, including such ditties as "Hysteria," "Get a Grip," and "Appetite for Destruction."
Bad news for Thomas, but only a temporary reprieve for the record industry. The crowing you hear closely resembles the bleating of the last dinosaur as it sank into the tar pit. In a few years, record companies as we know them today will be as quaint (and relevant) as old 78 RPMs. And nobody will be singing a dirge at that funeral.
A nervous titter passed through the room. State Rep. Matthew Barrett was presenting a lecture to an Ohio high school government class on how a bill becames law when he stuck a memory stick into the computer, producing an image of a topless woman on the screen. (It's been decades since my last civics course. Do the strippers show up before the bill is amended, or after?) In a confab with state police Barrett declared he had no idea where the picture came from, but he'd be happy to launch a prolonged investigation. (Kudos to Cringester B. Y. for sharing that tidbit.)
Masters of no one's domain. The state of California temporarily lost the use of its primary Web domain earlier this week, courtesy of the General Services Administration. The GSA delisted ca.gov for several hours, believing it had been hacked after the City of Marin's Web site was found to be redirecting visitors to porn sites. (Yet another reason to move north of the Golden Gate.) Ohio Rep. Barrett has denied all responsibility.
New Zune, same zinger. So far, Microsoft 's iPod killer has been less lethal than a rolled-up newspaper. Take 2 of the Zune doesn't appear any more deadly, though it is smaller, lets you sync over Wifi, offers some Web 2.0-ish sharing features, and serves up a couple of Nano-esque 4GB and 8GB cousins. Better? Probably. But no reason to wake Mr. Jobs from his nap.
Got hot news of a technical nature? Lay 'em on me bro or post down below. Top tipplers may win prizes worth up to $222,000 (please contact the RIAA for details).
Posted by Robert X. Cringely on October 5, 2007 08:19 AM
October 03, 2007 | Comments: (0)
More thoughts on terror and bombs
It's been about six months since the "Notes From the Field" column morphed into the Cringely Blog, and in that time I've learned at least one thing: If you want to stir up a hornet's nest, blog about topics like evolution and terrorism.
Faithful Cringesters responded in droves to